Lynn's Christmas Cookies

It is my favorite weather up here in Northern Ohio today. It's gloomy and mild and very, very windy, the kind of windy where I feared the giant bushes in the front of our house might be blown down and when I heard the tornado siren test this morning I checked the weather channel to make sure I didn't need to be doing my work in our creepy, dirty basement. Maybe it's weird, but I love these windy days.

Last weekend I made the hour and a bit trip down to my Dad's house to help my sisters and a number of our family and friends make my mom's annual Christmas cookies.

Every single year for as long as I can remember my mom has made dozens and dozens and dozens of cookies and candies, the sort of thing I only ever experienced at Christmastime, separated them all onto plates and then proceed to give them to at least 30 families in our acquaintance. Usually Anne and I spent Christmas Eve driving around New Concord, drawing straws to decide who would knock on each door as we arrived and often coming home laden with some goodies of our own.

Last year Mom did her best, but Jennie ended up making most of the treats (I would have helped but by then I had moved to Cincinnati). It's a huge job, often taking Mom a week or two to accomplish (usually surrounded by her daughters who claimed that the cookie they had just eaten "broke" and practically begged to be eaten) and Jennie does not have that kind of time on her hands. So this year we did something a little different. With the help of our aunt Jennie made an order form so that anyone who wanted to could order Lynn's Special Christmas Cookies for I think $25 per plate depending on the size of the plate and whether or not you wished for it to be nut free. All proceeds would a) pay for supplies and b) be given to the Sarcoma Foundation. Jennie also told her boss (she works at a supermarket) about this and he donated some of the supplies, such as sugar, flour and butter. Then Jennie, two of our aunts, one cousin, and at least six family friends and myself got together last Saturday and spent the entire day, from 8am until I don't know when, making all of Mom's special cookies. We made everything from white chocolate covered pretzels to Buckeyes to pecan tassies to mint chocolate brownies to the extremely popular white chocolate peppermint sugar cookie snowflakes (I know, ridiculous long name, right?). Thousands of cookies, all in one day, all to be delivered following church the next day. It was incredible considering we had a select number of cookie sheets and only one stove to work with, and I wish I could tell you I stayed for the whole thing but unfortunately I was only able to be there for five and a half hours. Living over an hour away has its disadvantages, and having a poor sick husband who left work early means leaving earlier than originally planned. However, everything got done in due time and Jennie decided that next year we'll allow ourselves more than a single day to get it all done.

Even though I wasn't there for long I made sure to bring my camera and will now post for your enjoyment pictures of the day! If I don't post again beforehand, Happy Christmas (or Hanukkah or Kwanzaa or whatever)!!

 

Count Your Blessings.

I feel like I get stupider with every passing day.

This feeling started back in 2008 when I started working at a preschool and was no longer around people with whom I could use words that were more than two syllables (unless I wanted to either impress or confuse them). It stopped for a bit when I worked for Verizon because I had to know SO much and talked to people on a regular basis and was able to write and read more often.

A couple of days ago I pulled out my old flash drives. The ones that only accept, like, 250MB of data that's how old they are. But on these flash drives are old school papers, the ones that I was really proud of like my senior seminar and the one paper I wrote for an advanced writing class, which my teacher decided he wanted to keep as an example for future students. Papers I could be proud of but, quite honestly, also papers I would most likely never ever use again for anything except for my three years later self to reread and think "My goodness was I good writer! What on earth happened?!?"

Just so y'all know, this is absolutely NOT a ploy to get you to compliment my writing. I'm not fishing for compliments here.

Lately I've been putting up with my job. I haven't enjoyed it. At all. It has even stressed me out at times and often makes me a not very nice person when I'm interrupted. And usually, the entire time I'm working, I'm thinking of all the possible jobs I could look for to get me out of it. I'll consider quitting and finding two part time jobs, ones that will allow me to walk around and not just sit at a desk in an uncomfortable chair giving myself major tendonitis and carpal tunnel for eight hours a day. I'll consider going back to school, applying for other clerking jobs that are most likely equally boring, substitute teaching, etc etc etc. However, when I go to look at the jobs I might actually like, I read the job description and immediately think to myself, "Wow. I am SO not qualified for that," or, "I could never get that job," or, "Why would they want me, every other person who applies probably has more experience and more brain power because I'm just stupid", or - enter your excuse of choice here - . Same goes for looking into school for any reason, from grad school to massage therapy school. I'll read the requirements and immediately put myself down, saying I'm not qualified, my mind isn't as sharp as it used to be, I could never do that, etc.

What's so pathetic is that I went to college. I went, and I did well and I graduated successfully with a perfectly respectable grade point average. So where did all of this negativity come from? I know I'm capable, but I don't FEEL capable. I know I have a brain, but it sure doesn't feel like I have a brain.

All I can think of to remedy this is to try harder at my job because, as much as I don't like it, I'm lucky to have such a good job in this economy, and I need to discipline myself to challenge my brain more. Stop watching TV and instead read a book. And not a young adult book that's an easy read or a book I've read before. I need to read a challenging book, like Moby Dick or Ten Thousand Leagues Under the Sea or Huckleberry Finn. Books that make me keep a dictionary on hand so I know exactly what has been said. Because maybe, just maybe, if I challenge my mind and make myself learn something more than an actor's background and trivia on IMBD, I can feel a little more confident.

So, in conclusion, today I am thankful that I grew up without internet or a cell phone so that I had to spend time being creative, reading, writing, or using my imagination playing with my next door neighbors deep in the wooded area behind our houses. I'm thankful that my parents wouldn't allow us to watch TV unless it was for something like the Olympics or a movie we'd all watch together so that I didn't fill my mind with worthless knowledge, like who is the hottest star and the weekly Hollywood divorce statistics. I'm thankful that they taught us to love reading and learning, and that my Dad works at a university so I was able to attend a good school and graduate without debt. In short, I'm thankful for my upbringing, a family that challenged me, and parents who made me whom I am today: a perfectly capable, adequately intelligent, occasionally creative imperfect person. :)

Round is a shape...

Okay kids. This is the second time I've had to pause this workout vid from The Firm. I am dripping sweat and exhausted and there's still more to go. I have successfully made it through this thing without stopping many times before. It's time to get pro active, and I don't mean the acne wash...

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If Music Be...

(Is it just me or are the dishes never done? It's like as soon as they're clean more have taken their place...)

Let's have a chat, you and I. 

I'd like to chat about music. As I write this I have some songs floating through my head. Not songs with lyrics, necessarily, but rather pure, simple music, the kind that sweeps you into far off places like Middle Earth, Narnia, Neverland... or, in my case, the middle of a forest in the mountains during fall. All of the trees are changing color and the sun is high overhead keeping me warm on a chilly, sweater-wearing kind of day. 

As I listen to this music I close my eyes and find myself cuddled up on an oversized, comfy couch with a homemade afghan and some hot tea listening to the rain on the roof of my log cabin, thankful for the roof over my head, the warmth of the house and of my family in the house around me, and reveling in the fact that I am surrounded by the beauty of nature instead of the cement-filled, car-laden, inspiration-less world I always seem to find myself in. 

I have never been one for the city life. While I have lived in a city and definitely enjoyed the experience and appreciate being able to get Indian or Thai food or Starbucks whenever I want it, I could never, ever live there long term. So until Johnny and I escape it I allow myself to dream about it and pray that it will someday happen. Odd as it seems, I want the location of my home to be the reason for school snow cancellations, if you get my drift. 

Am I the only one who is affected this way by music? I have no problem with being alone in this, but I've a feeling that I'm not...

Once Upon A Time...

... many, many years ago (2005) I joined The Social Network also known as Facebook at the request of my then boyfriend. I slowly began adding friends from my college, as back then Facebook was only for college students, some of whom I only knew by name and face but not much more than that. One such person was this guy I'd seen around campus who knew my then boyfriend due to their mutual addiction to the Pittsburgh Steelers. This boy's name was Johnny.

I didn't know Johnny very well, but I had seen him around campus and at many of the events I attended. Sometime around my sophomore or junior year I realized I hadn't seen him around in awhile.

But suddenly, one day, as I was crossing the field that separated my house from campus, I spotted him coming down the self same sidewalk I was heading for.

"Hi Emily!"
"Hey Johnny!"

And that was our relationship up until spring of my junior year.

My by-then-ex-boyfriend was turning 22 and a group of our friends was throwing him a palindrome birthday party at one of the houses on campus and both Johnny and I were invited. Some wonderful person who purchased the appetizers for this party had gotten both mild and hot salsa. No one, and I mean NO ONE, was touching the hot salsa unless it was to move it out of the way of the mild salsa. Now personally, I love spicy stuff, so every now and again I would stop at the food table and snag some. One of those pit stops found me shoulder to shoulder with Johnny, who to my surprise was also dipping into the hot salsa! We had a conversation as we stood there stuffing our faces about how much we both like spicy stuff and that we should go to Buffalo Wild Wings together sometime (with a group, of course, as I had a boyfriend at the time) and right then and there a friendship was born.

The years went by and Johnny and I remained BDubs buddies, even after graduation had passed, and I moved to Connecticut, and then moved back, and we never saw each other but we kept in touch.

Then one day Johnny updated his status on that social network we all call Facebook, which by this time had undergone many changes since the day I joined all those many moons ago. It said "Who wants to go see Iron Man 2 with me?" (or something like that...). Some other girl said she'd go, but my comment read "Pick Me! Pick Me!"

Later that day I got a phone call from Johnny asking me if I wanted to meet up with him at a mall roughly halfway between our two towns to see Iron Man. Seeing as how he and I had been saying for years that we needed to get together soon of course I said yes.

Fast forward a year and a half.

Johnny and I had a marvelous time at that movie. A month later we got together again a couple of times and decided to take the plunge and try dating. Four months later we were engaged. And eleven months after that we were married.

And now, after one entire month of marriage, even if we drive each other crazy sometimes and are still getting to understand each other's quirks, we're still madly in love and in it for the long haul. And compared to some people, one month is a long time! ;-)

And they lived happily ever after.

The Beginning.

Why Are There So Many Songs About Rainbows?

I thought a lot about my Mom today.

While I was working today I put in Steel Magnolias on dvd to listen to so I wouldn't get bored. My college put on that play a few years back and Mom and I went to see it together. We had a marvelous time, laughing and comparing/contrasting the movie against the play while watching my sister's mother in-law, my academic adviser, and a few of my peers as they did a wonderful job. As I listened to the film today I thought back to that day and the fun Mom and I had and I admit I teared up a little. There were so few things that mom and I did where it was just the two of us, the most recent being when I drove her to radiation and chemo a few times before moving to Cincinnati. It saddens me when I realize all the chances I had to learn more about her and get to know her that I willingly turned down to do other things that, looking back now, weren't nearly as important as I felt they were at the time. Had I known she wouldn't be around forever...

On the night before my wedding, sometime around 1:25am, I was on Facebook because I couldn't sleep so I hopped on over to the page I created back in January for my mom's friends and family. As I thought about how my wedding was in X number of hours and how my mom wasn't there to coach me and my bridesmaids on how to walk and the groomsmen on how to stand correctly and when to turn and basically be awesome, I wrote this post:
Dear Mommy;
My wedding is TODAY.
True Story.
Can't wait to see you there. :)
Love,
Emily
I knew she would be there with all of us in spirit. Nothing, not even death, would keep her from her daughter's wedding. And after the ceremony was over and the food at the reception had been eaten and Johnny and I had changed clothes and got into our very creatively decorated car (thanks guys!) and drove away, suddenly the evening sky turned into this:

For those of you who follow me who are also my friends on Facebook, maybe you'll remember the incredible, never seen in February before, so amazing that it made the front page above the fold in the Daily Jeffersonian rainbow that happened the day of Mom's memorial just before her graveside service:

What made this rainbow so incredible is the fact that, according to a good friend who loves meteorology, rainbows usually appear in the east because they're created by the light of afternoon sun after the rain has passed. But in this case, it was created by the dawning sun's rays shooting into oncoming rain and therefore appeared in the west. And also because it appeared only an hour before Mom's memorial. 

Rainbows have so much more meaning for me now.

Until today I had forgotten all about that post I wrote so late at night before my wedding. But now, now it all makes sense. My mom was there, she was THERE, with us just as I had said she would be. And here I am, just a little piece of immortality, keeping my mother alive. :) How wonderful life is.

blah

(source)

Remember this book?

Something about today reminded me of it for some reason.

Blogger Epic Fail

I definitely wrote a post earlier this week (it might have been over the weekend... I forget) and it refused to post for some unknown reason and then deleted itself. Jerkface. So here I am catching all of you up on stuff that you could really care less about! Go me!

Married life, for some reason, really doesn't feel terribly different than pre-married life except now I live with Johnny and I didn't before. All of the house craziness has been slightly stressful but otherwise we're getting into a good rhythm and really starting to understand each other. At least, we are in my opinion.

Being home alone this late in this big house kind of creeps me out a little, even though we have neighbors that would definitely hear me if I screamed and might even come to help me out. I'm a little unsure of that last bit.

In other news, when I failed at posting a blog the other day I began to reread some of the old ones I wrote about my mom and, as usual, the waterworks began ever so slightly. Sometimes I'm still struck by the thought that I'll never see Mom again in this life and suddenly I can't breathe and the tears begin... but it's so much more rare than it used to be. Really I just think it's because right now is the beginning of the season of change. Fall is here, the temperatures are perfection in my humble opinion and I'm getting accustomed to the fact that I will never, ever be alone again (barring a horrible accident, which I prefer to not think about) and therefore nothing will ever be the same. Obviously there's nothing wrong with this, it's just a lot to adjust to while also being the most amazing adventure I have ever been or will ever be on.

So there's my current ramblings. When I have the good pictures I promise to post about the wedding and to introduce my husband (I REFUSE to call him 'hubby'. I personally feel that it's slightly demeaning and puts me in mind of an ice cream flavor, or some kind of marshmallow treat like Peeps, or the name of an oversized dog) and talk about the honeymoon!

Ciao friends!

Welcome to...

My Wedding Day!!!!

Today is the big day, folks! This is it! And I'm a mixture of excited, nervous, exhausted, elated, and a little disconnected, as I tend to not really believe something is happening until I'm immersed in it. Just like I don't believe that by this time tomorrow I'll be somewhere in West Virginia on our way to the cabin in Tennessee. Same thing happened when I took my 8th grade trip to D.C., the trip to NYC in high school, and just about any other major trip I've ever gone on for whatever reason.

It's so hard to believe that this is actually that big day. You know, the day that every little girl dreams of for just about her entire life. And now that this day is about to occur (and everything that I imagined in my head actually looks good when put together, which I was terrified it wouldn't) I have to wonder what I'll dream about next. Kids? Will that by my next big event? Or perhaps a move to a new place (again)? I guess time will tell.

All through this process I wished over and over in my head that my Mom was here. I had plenty of help from all kinds of wonderful people (one woman came over and washed, waxed by hand, vacuumed out and wiped down the inside of my car! It is now all ready for the 7 hour drive south) but it would be a perfectly great day if my Mom was there. She only made it to one of her daughter's weddings in person, but we believe she was and is there in spirit.

As it is, we'll see if I can actually sleep! Eeeeepp....

The End Result

It turns out that the fuel pump in my car failed, along with the filter I guess. So who has two thumbs and got to go pay over $750 she didn't have after the dealership fixed her poor car? That's right. This girl.

I might have cried a little when I heard how much it would cost.

However, I now have a car and I had a lovely weekend once I finally made it to Canton. My sister came and picked me up from Dave's house after that whole fiasco and we made our way north to Columbus. This was a very productive drive, as she is my wedding coordinator and is WAY more organized than yours truly, and I now have a long list on the notepad in my phone that is quickly getting smaller as I knock stuff off.

Tangent: peanut butter and apples = AWESOME.

So that bit of stress went down marginally. I then got into Johnny's car when we arrived in Columbus and Johnny drove us to Canton. I fell asleep for most of the drive. Totally pooped. Went to bed the moment we got to his house.

The next day was my shower! It began at noon so I was ready quickly and looked up directions and then my future mother in-law and I got into her car and I drove us on over to Wooster to hang with my crazy fam for the afternoon.

Another fun shower! I got all kinds of exciting stuff and we also got to attend a wedding we weren't invited to. It took place at the gazebo directly next to the pavilion we were in, and it was beautiful and very small. Maybe 50 chairs had been set up and the guests just kind of trickled over from the parking lot while the bride rode up in a van. She looked absolutely stunning in her dress, it suited her perfectly and the skirt just flowed... it's too bad Erin wasn't at the shower or she could have told us what it was made of! As it was, we all applauded when the recessional sounded but I don't think they noticed.

The shower lasted for a good four hours! We just really enjoy chatting with each other and I got to spend a full fifteen minutes with a one year old on my hip for the first time in awhile, which just makes a good day.

On Sunday at church we attended this small Methodist church that we visit every now and again and, as I have a somewhat powerful singing voice, the entire congregation can hear me when we sing. This is embarrassing in itself because, well, it just is! But there is a woman at this church who is absolutely determined to get me on their stage (because, you know, they can't hear me well enough as it is...) to sing special music and proceeded to announce to everyone in earshot that I would be singing and made me give the pastor my phone number and, since we're moving a mere twenty minutes away, I really have no way out of this.

And then we went to our house just to see if anything has changed and nope, it's still not done. However, on our way over we got a call from the house owner who then met us at the house and he was about to blow a gasket. Johnny and I were seriously terrified he was going to have a heart attack he was so upset. So here's hoping our house is actually done by the time we get married so we can set up the bed we're picking up this weekend and actually have running water.

And then Johnny drove me back to Cincinnati. That drive is significantly more pleasant when you have someone making it with you.

And now it is only twelve days until I am married. I can't BELIEVE it's so soon! It'll all be over before we know it and suddenly all my stress will disappear. I've forgotten what it's like to NOT be stressed.

Now I am going to dye my hair. :) Photos to come!

I Dub Thee the Longest Day Ever.

Today started just fine.

Got up, got ready, packed my suitcase, ate some food, sent a text to my fiance... all pretty much the same old.

Got to work, keyed claims for two hours and then everyone from the 4th floor made their way to the Manor House in Mason, OH. Today was "EyeMed's Got Talent!", also known as the mandatory off-site event. My friend Sara and I squished ourselves into my jam-packed-full car and headed over together, and then sat through two hours of some of the most hilarious skits I think I've ever seen, ate some wondrous food, and then listened to Dessie Williams, a famous motivational speaker, for two straight hours.

Get.
Excited.

Just kidding, he was actually really fun to listen to. Oh, and the room we were in was frigidly cold and Sara and I shivered through everything and were super excited to get outside in the warm.

Anyway, so, I drop Sara off at her car after this shindig ends and head off to my apartment, where I was going to check the mail for RSVPs. (We have finally hit the 100 mark out of ALL the people we have invited). I waited for, like, half an hour because I saw the mail truck at the other end of the lot and I figured he just hadn't made his way down to my end yet.

Waited.
And Waited.
Still didn't move.

So I got fed up and checked and guess what? He had already been to my end, probably before I even got there. Epic fail on my part. Speed off from my apt because I needed to get out of Cinci before rush hour.

Driving up the interstate and I'm nearly to an exit for Mason where I was going to get gas when suddenly my car won't accelerate. I stomped down on the pedal and nothing happened, so I slowly pulled over to the side of the road and stopped. Turned off my car. Tried, and it wouldn't turn on. Tried again. Nothing. I called Johnny, called my Dad, tried to turn the car on again, it turned on. So I, in my infinite car wisdom, immediately turned it off again, not feeling safe driving it anywhere, even if was just to head down the ramp to the Speedway. Dad thought it could be the oil so he had me check and it was low. So I start my trek down the ramp, heading for Speedway. Dangerous place to be on foot, let me tell you, but I made it. Found oil but realized I couldn't remember what kind I needed. So I guessed and decided I'd ask when I go to the counter.

I also bought Twizzlers.

Just go with me here.

Get up to the counter and I ask the guy if he knows anything at all about cars and told him I just wanted to know if I got the right thing. The guy in line behind me knew, so he helped out, and I tell them that I'm that car up there that's broken down and suddenly everyone has advice, none of them think that it's the oil, etc, etc.

The guy behind me, however, was very helpful and said that it sounded to him like the alternator and then was going to offer me a ride in his big moving truck but there wasn't room (I wouldn't have accepted anyway, I've seen too much SVU and NCIS for that...) so he starts talking about figuring out where the police station is when the Sheriff pulls in. This man has no fear and just really wanted to help a damsel in distress so he approaches the Sheriff to ask him if he'd give me a ride.

Next thing I know I'm sitting in the back of the cop car (the passenger seat had a box of stuff in it) and he's making his roundabout way back to I-71 North to my car. I told him he didn't need to stick around so he dropped me off and I put the oil in and try the ignition and wonder of wonder it starts! However, the battery light stayed on, so I once again turned the car off and called my dad and he wanted me to look up AutoZone so I could have them check my battery. Well then I try the ignition again and... no dice. So AutoZone is no go.

All this time I'm calling Johnny and my Dad alternately to update them on the situation and I'm on the verge of tears but hold it back. Call my friend Dave, who knows cars and lives nearby. He makes his way to me through rush hour traffic. Checks my car, decides it's not the battery, the oil, the alternator, but that it could be the fuel system or the electrical. But he wasn't sure, and we couldn't get the car on, so Allstate Roadside Assistance was called and I called Johnny and my sister to arrange my rides north considering the whole reason I'm going is because my third bridal shower is tomorrow and I kind of need to be there...

Forty-five minutes later the tow truck appears and tows my poor Penny over to a dealership that Dave recommended. Left my spare key in the night drop with the necessary information and now I'm sitting at Dave's house writing this while waiting for my sister to come get me. She should be here at any time.

This whole ordeal began around 4pm. I got to Dave's at 7:30pm.

*sigh*

SO the last thing I need right now...

and still trying to figure how I'll get back...

Aaaaannnndd....

Time just keeps getting shorter! Only 17 days till the wedding now, the RSVP deadline is this Saturday, as is my final shower. My bosses are leaning towards a "yes" for me working from home (um, can you say 'score!'?) and there's only a couple of trips left for my apartment to be empty. Every night this week will be spent packing everything up room by room. I've already done my bedroom and the living room. Tonight I tackle the bathroom and the kitchen, since the bathroom won't take long. I bought bubble wrap for my breakables and Johnny and I have spent time trying to figure exactly what pieces of furniture will fit in our cars so we can get it up to the house without having to drive the truck all the way down here. However, I have a feeling that the truck will be in my near future...

Be that as it may, on my drive home Sunday it suddenly struck me that the boys are wearing brown dress shirts and Johnny is wearing a brown tux... but what if the two shades don't mix well? What if Johnny's tux isn't a warm enough brown and they just clash when standing next to each other? And what if I don't have enough flowers? Who will start the fire before everyone gets to the reception? We need to make a playlist! And buy bubbles, where did Anne get her bubbles? What if the flowers and other decorations for the reception don't look good and it just looks like my crazy brain exploded all over the inside of a tent? What if no one has fun because we're not having dancing?!? On and on and on and on and ever since then I've been a crazy person. I was so wired by the time I got back to Cinci that I couldn't fall asleep and had to read a book to calm myself down.

I've been running every day I can because a.) the weather is gorgeousness and b.) it helps to de-stress while giving me energy and motivation to get stuff done. This whole wedding thing is stressful. As is moving without a moving truck, waiting to hear whether I have to quit my job, and knowing that in 17 days this will all be over and everything will calm down. So I'll just take this one day at a time...

26 Days

That's it.
Only 26 days till I'm standing at the altar with my Johnny, and I have SO MUCH to get done. I don't think I have ever been this stressed, and honestly it's not stress about the wedding. Whether the decorations are done and perfect and the sanctuary looks nice and we actually get around to getting a guest book or not, the wedding will happen. Nothing will stop it.

No, my stress is due to my job, and to moving.

As boring as it is, I'd like to keep my job. I very much dislike job hunting so keeping the one I have would be ideal. However, to keep it I have to prove I can work from home and finish enough claims and do them all correctly. They're giving me two weeks to prove this, and it started last week so there's only three more days to prove I can. I'm trying very hard to think positive but there's a big part of pessimistic me that believes I'll be job searching this time next week.

And the keeping my job thing is due to my big move north to the house Johnny and I are renting. I'm slowly packing up my stuff and filling up my car and driving everything north weekend by weekend until it's all gone but the furniture and my clothing. As I own what Johnny considers to be a ridiculous number of books, this moving thing is going to take awhile. And then I have to figure out how to get all of the furniture north as well, since it definitely won't fit in my car. So the stress of moving on top of wondering if I get to keep my job on top of trying to get everything done for the wedding and trying to work out daily so I don't gain a million pounds from the stress...

I am very, very tired.

All of the stress compounded with not enough sleep and a job where I sit on my butt for ten hours a day means I am exhausted. Almost all the time. This time last year I was running up to two miles a day and working out daily and not driving as much and I lost a bit of weight even while sitting for 8 hours a day. The difference between then and now is that then I worked evenings and slept till I naturally woke up, giving me plenty of rest, and I made a point of working out every day (It helps to live in a small town where everything is in walking distance) and I rarely drove. Really I'm just looking forward to the end of this stress and the start of a new chapter. In 26 days everything changes, and not driving 7 hours every weekend is a major perk.

Okay. Now that my stress and exhaustion rant is over, I'm going to do a workout, update the RSVP list, and clean up the kitchen. Then, if I have enough time, I'll be grabbing boxes from the car and filling them up with books and stuff.
Wish me luck!
Ready, Set, Go!

Shower Madness!

This past Saturday, July 30th, was the first of three showers being thrown for me. My bridesmaids took care of this one, and it was a literary shower!! The invitations were those little cards that used to be used at libraries when you checked out books, and everyone was given the option of bringing me a book along with whatever gift they got for me. I left with nine books, only two of which were books I already had so I'm REALLY excited to start reading! Of course, I left all the presents at my Dad's because there is absolutely no space here and no point in dragging everything here when I'm moving out in a month.

Eeee! I'm moving out in a month! Panic attack....

Anywho, I was unable to take any of my own photos for this shower so I had to steal from Facebook. The party was so much fun that neither girl took many pictures but you'll get the basic idea.

One of the games we played was a kind of story-telephone game. One sentence is written at the top of a piece of paper to begin the story, and the first person writes a sentence or two to continue it. Then, before passing the paper on, they fold back the top of the page to hide the original sentence, leaving only the sentence they wrote so the next person has only that sentence to go on. The results are hysterical, and therefore I will now post for your enjoyment the winning story of the day.

"Emily gets to the church for the wedding and the church door is locked.

Emily decided to break the lock with a hammer she keeps in her boot. The spider that was hiding in her boot-top crawled onto her wrist. Sinking its venom-filled fangs into her skin the spider took a last breath before his life was brought to a bitter end by Emily's hand. Quickly, Johnny knelt beside her and sucked the venom from the wound. At the sight of her own blood, Emily fainted. Forgetting that he was a prince, Johnny quickly picked her up and placed her tenderly in the glass coffin which conveniently was waiting in the next room. Unfortunately Johnny accidentally tickled Emily's foot and she kicked the glass with her heel and shattered the coffin. A circling group of bald eagles, alerted by the tinkling of broken glass, began dive-bombing Emily. Thunder crashed; lightning flashed across the sky! "Oh no!" said Johnny, "My temple underwear is showing!"

The End

 Me and my lovely bridesmaids! Much thanks for the two girls at either end, who were the main planners of this shindig!

 This is a little tradition my older sister picked up in Columbus and she has brought it to our family!

Jessie was kind enough to lend her living room for decorating purposes. I recognized it the moment I walked in!

Other than the story game we did a word search (first to find ten words yells bingo and gets a prize!), and "Who Am I?" where everyone has a character name taped to their back and can only ask yes or no questions to find out who they are. My friend Lindsey was Harry Potter and got hers in about three questions. I was Alice in Wonderland and was the very last to figure out who I was! The whole thing was great fun, and now I have two more to look forward to, one for each side of the family. 

But for now I get to type out labels, buy some stamps, and send out the invitations I went to pick up yesterday! Supposedly you're allowed one big mistake or every wedding won't be successful without one big mistake or something, and my one big mistake was originally telling my brother in law we needed a certain number of invitations and then when he called to confirm with me I told him that was the wrong number and we needed an extra hundred! Well.... he was right, I was wrong, and now we have a hundred too many invitations and are out about $100 of our budget. But it could be much worse! So! Five weeks to go!

Well it's about time.

I"ll start by telling you that yesterday was a terrible day all around. I won't make you miserable by listing all of the crappiness, but it was made a little better by eating a lovely dinner with my sister and brother in-law in Columbus last night. And then getting a great night's sleep. So!

Remember the exciting news I hinted at in my previous post? Well here it is. Are you ready?

Johnny and I are renting a house in Massillon, OH.

We have the keys and everything! Finally, after so many months of answering "We're not sure yet" we can give people a real, honest to goodness answer when they ask what our plans are! 

Really this house just fell into our laps at Johnny's family reunion a few weeks ago. His cousin's wife walked up to us and said, "Hey, heard you're looking for a place, I can hook you up, yo!" ... or something like that. Basically they own a house, they've rented it before, it has brand new carpet and cabinets and linoleum and a claw foot bath tub. It's not air conditioned but so what? It's only 10 minutes from Johnny's work and, as his cousin's wife is a bailiff, she's got major connections and said for me to shoot her my resume and she'll pass it around at work. There's a chance that I could keep my current job and work from home, but it's nice to have other options in case that one doesn't work out. 

No pictures of the kitchen because it's a giant mess right now. 

But that's my exciting news!! And the fact that my dad didn't make 'The Face' and start questioning my budget, the wisdom of this idea, whether we had really thought about it before making the decision, and then telling me I'm 25 and almost married and can make my own decisions (all of which usually tells me he thinks I'm making the wrong one) tells me that we have his blessing in this and I'm SOO glad! 

And now comes the work... over the next six weeks I will be packing up my apartment into boxes, filling up my car and driving to Massillon to toss it all into the house so that when the wedding comes all we have to get is my furniture and then most of the wedding money we're given will go to buying out my lease. But it will all be SO worth it!

I'm a Lazy Bum.

A. Okay, once again I suck at posting regularly. Life is just so much of the same right now that I really have nothing to post about and besides,
B. this ridiculous heat has made me extremely lethargic and I tend to come home and just lie on my couch watching stuff on Netflix after
C. my TEN HOUR workday. Yes. I now work 4x10s, at least for the remainder of the summer, and for some reason it has me completely whooped. However, it gives me Friday's off for cleaning unless I'm not home on Friday like this past weekend when I
D. drove up to Canton on Thursday to spend the weekend with Johnny because his aunt is literally in a coma on her deathbed. It's very reminiscent of my own mom's passing, everyone just sitting around, talking about old memories and just watching and waiting. So far they've been watching and waiting for almost a week and a half now.

This means that my apartment is a disaster, I'm tired, I admit I'm a bit lazy, and I'm seriously stressed. I'm just really good at hiding it.

One good thing that has happened lately is all the headway we're making with this whole wedding thing. Johnny and I finally hired a photographer, the invitations will be sent VERY soon, I'm in the middle of typing an address list for labels, I bought more fake flowers and a pair of shoes this past weekend, I've found a dress for the rehearsal I just need to buy it, I have my last fitting with my sister probably this weekend before my first of three bridal showers! Whoosh. That was a long sentence. There has also been an exciting development, but I won't share about that until all the details have been ironed out. :)

As I just said, my first shower is this weekend! Lately there have been all kinds of little things that have made this whole thing more and more real to me. In six and a half weeks I will become Mrs. Johnny Cross, move in with a man, eventually become a mother (not for a long while, though...) and it's all happening so quickly! Starting this weekend I have a shower every two weeks until the end of August, after which it is then only two weeks till the big day. There is still a lot to be done, I have to order flowers, figure decorations, budget for s'mores, find someone who will donate wood for the bonfire, get the invitations printed, labeled, stamped and sent, all of this not necessarily in that order. Then I get to handle the RSVP list and pray that only 150 of the 250 we're inviting respond! But in the meantime I sit here in my too warm apartment avoiding turning on the AC so I don't have an exorbitant electric bill and, I admit, putting off typing out addresses because it's just so much easier to be lazy!

I assume you've all heard The Lazy Song, by Bruno Mars? Most annoying song on the planet.

Ciao!

Most Likely to go on an Adventure.

I have become a total lameface in terms of posting. My most sincere apologies! I honestly don't have terribly much to write about, though, so for this post I will tell you about my adventure last Friday.

At my job, claims processors have two monitors. It's just the way it is. But when you're a temp you generally don't get two monitors (although the other two temps on my team had two...) so I still have one. And it's an ancient dino of a computer and monitor that I affectionately named Norman. On Thursday last week, someone from the Network Services Group (NSG) appeared looking for me to give me my new monitor! I was so stoked! They showed up just as my work day was ending so I made sure it was okay and then left.

Fast forward to Friday morning. I arrive to find... one monitor. A new, pretty flat screen monitor, but still only one. My dino was gone. So I go tell my coordinator, who tells the boss, who tells my coordinator to have me call my boss at a certain number. I do, and then my boss tells me to hike down to NSG and find some guy named Jason who is bald and supposed to give my monitor back. He gives me directions and off I go.

NSG is located on the far west side of the building on the third floor. I'm on the fourth floor on the eastern side of the middle section of the building... if that makes sense. So I hike down there with knees that are protesting loudly with each step and eventually find myself in a really sketch part of the building. It was dark down there, with no drop ceiling so you could see all the pipes and beams like you would in a warehouse. The walls of the cubicles are all taller than me and I have no idea if I'm even in the right place because we don't exactly label our departments.

So I'm standing there looking lost and confused and this girl is a few feet away from me holding a clipboard. She sees me and says, "Can I help you?" Not in a nice way, either, but rather with the look on her face that said "Who the heck are you?" I told her I was looking for Jason.

"Is he expecting you?"

Like he's the president or something. Seriously.

I tell her yes, because it's true, and she walks towards me and points down the aisle I'm standing partially in front of to a bald guy down the way. As I start walking down this dark aisle toward the four men sitting at the other end I take in my surroundings: there are computers and wires and techie stuff everywhere. Literally. But as I start walking down the guy called Jason looks over, points and says "You!" I'm startled, but just keep walking. "You're the monitor!" he says.

Why yes, Jason. Yes I am.

He gestures to the desk area to his left once I reach him. "There's your monitor." I look down to see a slightly older flat screen. My Norman was NOT a flat screen.

"Well, that's not my monitor," I stammer out. "I had an ancient big monitor, like from 1998. But I'll gladly take a flat screen."

He just sits and stares at the monitor for a moment, then asks "That's not your monitor? Was yours a flat screen?" I answer his questions and then he stands up, says something like "Hold on", and then walks away holding the monitor, leaving me alone in this big creepy aisle feeling awkward and trying to figure out if he wanted me to follow. A moment later he reappeared and motioned for me to follow.

So I follow him over toward the window where there is a huge cube of ancient monitors like Norman stacked on top of each other next to a stack of older flat screens, which is where he sets "my" monitor. Turning back toward me, he holds up one finger in the "one second" motion before disappearing into a room behind me.

Once again, me standing awkwardly where I clearly hear him having a perfectly normal and pleasant conversation with whoever was in that room. Seconds later he reappears holding a monitor identical to the one he had just tried to give me and says "Do you know how to hook it up?"

I stared at him stupidly. "I can't hook it up because I need a dual video card - "
"Yeah, but once you have that can you hook this up?"
"I think so - "
"Well if you need help just call down here and I'll come help."

And he walks away. Well, kind of. He takes a few steps and is then joined by the girl who was apparently an executive assistant in another life and they proceed to have some kind of conversation as they walk. stop. walk. stop. in front of me the whole way out of Mars - uh, I mean, NSG.

Then I made my escape before it became necessary to make like ET and phone home.

When I made it back to the comfort of claims-land, I went to talk to my coordinator.

Me: so, I went to NSG.
Her: What happened. (she said this very knowingly and somewhat cautiously...)

So I tell her the whole story and we laugh about how in NSG they apparently don't need to actually be able to talk. It was like being on a whole other planet.

And after all of this excitement I came to work on Tuesday and had to call NSG because for some ridiculous reason I couldn't log into my computer. It made me lose an hour of work as I sat on hold for almost a half hour playing games on my phone to pass the time. Thankfully the phone etiquette down in NSGland is significantly better than their in-person people skills.

I guess the moral to the story is, if you're getting your computer monitor back and they offer your a newer one, just take it and don't ask questions. Simple and classic.

So anyway, that was my adventure. Here's hoping sometime soon I get that dual video card so I can finally have two monitors! It'll make my day SO much easier.

Happy Belated 4th of July, folks!

Update: by the way, in reference to an earlier blog, Johnny's house now has water, thanks to Johnny and all of his hard labor. :)

A Whole Lotta Random

Guess who has two thumbs and, starting July 11th, will be working "summer hours" at her job which means working four 10hr days and getting Friday off?? This girl! I had no idea that this option was open to us, but it absolutely is and it means my life gets that much easier!

My job is boring. This is the downside of the above excitement.

So, if you boil whole wheat rotini and mix in melted butter, minced garlic, peas, salt and pepper you get basically the most amazing dinner ever. I would post a picture of it but it's really tasty and kind of gone...

Is there anyone else here who is stressed? Anyone? What's weird is that I feel stressed but I'm not entirely sure why... probably because my wedding to Johnny is in just over two months and there's still so much to be done. Yeah. That's why.

Now I get to spend my evening (before I do a hardcore workout) organizing and compiling addresses for my shower/wedding guests. Get excited... :-)

At the End of the Day...

This past weekend was an adventure. Let's just put it that way. It began normally enough, with me driving for what feels like forever through ridiculous weekend traffic heading straight for Byesville, OH, to attend the Friday night service at Shalom Baptist, the church of one of my best friends. This friend also happens to be a photographer as well as one of my bridesmaids. On Memorial Day weekend she took Johnny's and my engagement photos and, as this past Saturday was my family reunion, I was hoping to pick up the photos when I visited church. She promised to have them ready. And now Facebook has an entire album of nothing but pictures of me and my boy and I love it!

Anyway, I decided to stay for service (well, actually, I kind of had to since I was a little late and my friend was helping with children's church, but I also really enjoy listening to her dad's lessons because they're always super interesting) and it went a lot longer than I had thought and I had to bail in the middle in order to get to Canton in decent time.

Saturday begins as normal. We're both up by 9 since he had to be at work by 11 and I had the reunion at noon (he couldn't come because of work. More on that later) and he showers first. Then, when I'm in the shower and my hair is all lathered up and I'm soaping up the rest of me the water pressure suddenly begins to dwindle until, before long, there's nothing. At all. And I'm standing there freezing with my hair full of suds. So I'm given a gallon jug of water (COLD water) with which I rinse myself off, get dry, get presentable, and then Johnny gets to come and dump the cold water over my head repeatedly until all the suds are gone. Then we repeat, as I also needed to condition. I must say I was very thankful that Saturday was a fairly chilly day and required jeans since I didn't have a chance to shave... However, the upside is that this was a small glimpse into married life and depending on one another. It also reminded me strongly of being a little kid and my mom washing my hair in the bathtub and rinsing it by pouring a cup of water over my head. It always got soap in my eyes, and Saturday was no exception.

This little problem turned out to be the water pump. Johnny's house runs on well water and the pump decided to fail. Johnny and his dad (jokingly) blamed it all on me because I was in the shower when it happened. But then I (also jokingly) blamed it on Johnny, who turned on water somewhere else in the house while I was in the shower. Nothing was ever decided on this front.

Anywho, this meant that immediately following church on Sunday Johnny and I took a little trip to Sears to buy a new pump, which then Johnny spent the entire rest of the day installing. There was problem after problem. Something was leaking, and when he tightened it to stop the leakage the thing broke and we had to take a trip to Lowe's and Home Depot to buy a new one and then something else stripped the screw on some tube that lets air into the pump and so they just plugged the hole for now. So they still don't have water and Johnny gets to work on it again tomorrow before he goes to work. It's all so ridiculous, and I ended up spending quality time with Johnny's dad, whose bad back kept him from being able to help as much as he would have liked. My only job was to read my book when I wasn't running up and down the basement stairs to unplug and plug in the pump. Quite the adventure, and definitely one I don't want to relive. I think I can safely speak for Johnny and say he feels the same.

So that was my adventure. And the reunion was great fun and the engagement pictures turned out beautifully and now I just have to put in all the info to the various newspapers to announce it! And then in just over two months we'll be married. So insane!! Everything is going so fast!

Hope everyone's weekend was a little less eventful than mine!

UPDATE: I realized I never came back to Johnny not coming to the reunion! He DID come! When I arrived, after going to Walmart to print off all of the pictures so I came a little late, I parked the car and saw Johnny walking toward me! Apparently his boss at work gave him a very extended lunch break during which he was able to come eat with us. :D That's all!

I Have A List in My Head.

Who else (in Ohio...) is thrilled about this lovely, 70-some degree weather? It's seriously making my world, especially since it means I don't need to use my air conditioner, which saves my electric bill.

My dad called in and rented the tables, chairs, and tent for our reception. EEeeee! We decided on a tent because we wanted an outdoor reception and it would be really complicated to try having a secondary location just in case without having to pay another fee. So with the tent we can have our reception outside whether it's rain or shine! Johnny and I finally pared down the guest list with the help of his Aunt Nancy, who is very straightforward. "That person wouldn't come, don't bother". It was amusing and helped SO much, so, thank you Nancy!

We also watched a video that accompanies the book we're working through for counseling. It's called "Saving You Marriage Before It Starts", and it's a wonderful book and a slightly cheesy video... It was recorded in the early 90s (you can tell by the fashion, lol) and the couple who lead it are very aware that they're in front of a camera... but that really doesn't change the effectiveness. I'd recommend this book/video/workbook to any engaged, newly wed or even married for awhile couple. It's pretty phenom.

Anyway, things are falling into place and it feels like time goes flying by! Yesterday marks one year of dating for us, and it's now less than three months till the wedding.
I actually went to bed at 9:30pm last night. I felt like I was in elementary school because it was still light out! However, I got up today at 5am as usual and felt pretty darn great! Perhaps I should go to bed at 9:30 more often!

I hope you all have a glorious day!

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Diagnosis: Scatterbrain

Once upon a time, roughly two years ago or so, there was this girl named Emily who had everything together. Her bills were paid early, she had a job that gave her more than enough money, she was organized and all was good. 


Then one day she quit her job and began preparations for moving back with her parents 650 miles away and the Sunday before her move she was in a car accident that totaled her father's car and she was stranded. Stressed and in whiplash pain she cried and then presented a stiff upper lip as her family solved the problem by sending her brother in-law, with whom she had never spent time with alone before, in an Enterprise Rent-A-Van to come get her and all of her belongings. 


When she got back to her parent's house she slept on the couch for a month while the tenant living in her old room finished her student teaching, graduated, and moved back to her hometown. Due to this Emily was disorganized. Almost all of her belongings were in the garage and the rest were spread around as her packing job had been hasty. Suddenly she found herself in a state of disarray, attempting to pay off her bills and make phone calls to discontinue services with various cable, electric and so on companies. Finally it was all taken care of, but she was quickly going broke as she had no job. 


Fast forward to the present. Emily's bills are on time at best, she has nearly run out of money more than once, must pay attention to her spending and has found herself to be completely disorganized. 


And it drives. Her. CRAZY.

I can't STAND feeling out of control.

I never thought I was that much of a control freak until I realized how scattered I've become. I can't figure the reason for it, as I live in my own space now, but for some reason things are easily misplaced and forgotten and, to add insult to injury, I have been feeling progressively more stupid with every passing day. Part of me wants to go back to school just to get some semblance of sanity back into my life.

I really wasn't terribly bad until I moved to Cincinnati. Now I have significantly more bills to pay, and they're spread out across the month instead of being all at the same time as they were two years ago. I also don't get paid near as much as I did back then, so I have to pay as the due dates come or I'd be broke. I mean, I only just went grocery shopping the day before yesterday for the first time in probably a month or more because of my paycheck debacle and upcoming bills.

I REALLY need a day planner so I can organize my life.

I also need to read/learn more instead of spending so much time in front of my computer doing absolutely nothing. So to try to remedy this I began reading Journey to the Center of the Earth by Jules Verne last night. And I LOVE it. I'm often a little wary of reading the classics, as they tend to be rather dry and a tad over my head as I have not grown up in the same era as the writer and therefore the jokes make no sense to me. However, I really enjoy this book so far, and have a notebook and dictionary handy for those moments when he uses words I don't already know.

Already, from changing my habit even just for one day, I have felt a slight change. Today, instead of wasting time doing other things, I finally signed up for my medical and dental benefits and have that out of the way. I also hope to do some drawing or writing. It's lovely that I'm not travelling this weekend because I honestly believe that has contributed to my insanity. Having an evening where I don't have a strict bedtime and where I don't have to wake up at 5am the next day is absolutely marvelous. And having a day where I don't have to be anywhere is equally marvelous, as it means I will be giving my apartment a much needed cleaning and purging, and I will be doing some cooking. I bought the stuff to make more of my homemade black bean burgers and will spend tomorrow afternoon working on that, as well as putting together casseroles and soups and possibly even making some cookies so that I have more options during the week. Lately it's been a cheese quesadilla every night. Mostly because that's what sounds good, and it's fast and I have the stuff to make it.

Plus Johnny will be coming to visit tomorrow night and staying through Monday morning. :) Oh, glorious weekend at home!

Wedding Planning = a pain in the...

Okay. So. This whole guest list thing is annoyingly, ridiculously stressful. No matter what someone is going to be offended because we have a list of 266 people and cannot possibly afford to invite them all and stay under budget. With just relatives we have over 150, so this is going to be insane. Assuming they all come, of course.

We've decided to meet at the court house on Monday. Just send your gifts to my apartment.

Just kidding. We'd be shot, stabbed, quartered, buried, and then eventually used as fire starters by all the very upset relatives.

But seriously, once the guest list is taken care of everything else is easy peasy. Dad's ordering a tent, I have two options lined up for photographers, my mind is full of decorating ideas, and everything will hopefully just fall into place. Now, to make the list shorter...

I know that not everyone invited will come... but if they do, we cannot possibly afford that many people. And in the meantime, it is seriously stressing me out. That, and my messy apartment. The lack of money and food was also contributing, but since I got paid and went shopping that ship has sailed and left the Nina and the Santa Maria for me to contend with. The cleaning ship will depart this weekend, since I FINALLY will be staying home for the first time in over a month and will be deep cleaning everything in this place, putting things away, sorting through the mail, etc. And it will help my stress levels immensely. I also hope to invest in some plants for my balcony.

Till then, I'll just continue to throw things across the room. It makes me feel better.

What An Absolutely Beautiful Day

I'm currently sitting on a blanket under a tree at a park in Canton South enjoying the shade, the sunshine, and the breeze. Absolutely gorgeous day. I just came from eating lunch with Johnny in the parking lot of the warehouse he works in and I discovered mit new fave drink at starbucks. In the winter I always get the caramel apple spice but it's entirely too hot for that today so instead I got the passion iced tea lemonade. SO GOOD. I only got a tall so it was gone entirely too fast but that's okay. I have a few other things I could write about, like my paycheck fiasco or how much I dislike driving so far all the time but it's just too pretty so I'm going to read instead.

Only 98 days till the wedding! So much to do!

Here's a pic of the tree I'm sitting under.

Have a great weekend!

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Going to the Chapel

My little sister is officially married to her boyfriend of almost 10 years. I know it's official not just because I was there but also because her last name and relationship status has changed on Facebook. ;-) Now it's officially my turn, as my bridal shower date for my mom's side of the family has already been chosen and Dad has finally begun to discuss final plans with me. All of this would be significantly easier if my Mom were here, but since there's nothing I can do about that I just need to suck it up and get 'er done.

The wedding was absolutely beautiful. Anne managed to lose over 15 pounds prior, her dress (created by my older sister) suited her exactly, the men looked super sharp in their white tuxes/military dress, and the whole shindig culminated in a saber salute by a Marine guard.

She stuck to very traditional stuff, minus the music prior to the ceremony. As a Star Wars buff, all of her music was Star Wars related up until Pachabel's Canon in D, the Bridal March, and Wedding Recessional. Of course, being the maid of honor I was in the basement playing checkers with the bride to keep her calm until it was that time, so I never got to hear the Star Wars music.

Everything went exactly to plan, and there were no mishaps thanks to my long nails and Jennie's ability to make me giggle at a moment's notice. Allow me to explain.

Ever since I was three I have spent quite a bit of time on stage, and due to this I rarely get nervous. But for some reason, when it came to my turn to walk up the aisle and onto the stage for the ceremony I began to shake like a leaf. I made it up the aisle without tripping (unlike at the rehearsal where I nearly biffed it on the stairs on our way out the side doors) and onto the stage where I found it incredibly hard to stand still and spent most of my time and energy keeping myself from a panic attack. My easiest time on stage was when I was fixing Anne's veil and train and taking her bouquet. As the shaking got worse I'm pretty sure it became visible to people in the front rows, so I turned my head slightly and whispered "I'm shaking" to Jennie.
"Why are you shaking?" she asked. "I have no idea." She she leans forward slightly and whispers, "I'm on a boat." (for reference to why this is funny, watch this clip.).

You can totally tell Jennie is talking to me, lol...

Giggling helped me, as did digging my finger nails into my palm behind the bulk of Anne's bouquet, and I made it through the ceremony without a panic attack or fainting, which would have been ridiculously embarrassing. I also didn't trip on my way out. :)

Moving on, the reception was also lovely. It was in one of the college dining halls, but it was still really nice and the food was extremely good. We had dancing, and Anne had the traditional Father/Daughter dance, which they did to Butterfly Kisses, at Dad's request. That song is a tear jerker anyway, but it's exponentially moreso at a wedding reception. Jennie and I both teared up while Johnny put his arms around my shoulders and gave some sympathy and asked about the song, which I don't think he's heard before. I "caught" the bouquet (it hit the ceiling and landed on the floor a good four feet in front of all the girls closest to me. I reluctantly picked it up, considering it's my fifth or sixth bouquet and I already know I'm next...) and then we realized the one mistake of the day.

We. Forgot. The. Garter.

Her dress was too fitted to wear the garter during the ceremony, and it was a lovely handmade creation given by a friend of Mom's who asked both Anne and me what our wedding colors were. I have one also. But I guess Anne gets to keep it now because the reception garter was ribbon cut from a maid's bouquet tied to Anne's leg and then tied to a fork so it could be tossed.

Classy, right? But if that's the only thing that goes wrong at a wedding, that's pretty much amazing. Well, I guess another thing went "wrong", but not really. None of the bridal party remembered to bring stuff with which to decorate the getaway car so in the middle of the reception the best man and a groomsman and I went downtown and got helium balloons and ribbon and tied them to the getaway car. We were also going to do streamers but IGA doesn't carry them anymore so balloons was it! And it was worth it because it was very rainbow and Anne really liked it. I have no idea what Jarrod thought, as he's the strong silent type.

It was all very exhausting but it was just beautiful, everything a wedding should be and exactly how my wedding will not be. I'm less traditional and a little more retro than Anne. Johnny and I are deep in planning now and hopefully our day will be every bit as lovely and special and wonderful as Anne and Jarrod's.

I Have A Cold

Seriously. My nose is dripping off my face, I just got my voice back, I'm coughing and sneezing non-stop, and I went to work today. NO interest in cooking, since it's so darn warm outside, so I went to Panera and got food to go. I'm always so excited about the lemonade, but today's lemonade has the faint taste and smell of nail polish remover. Total waste of money, and I'm super bummed. However, I did get an orange scone for breakfast in the morning.

I finally began as a full time employee on Monday, which was SO boring. We sat in a classroom for the entire morning and then our managers were supposed to take us to lunch. Well, I and the other new hire from my department Sara were picked up by Joel, our manager, and he then told us to "have fun" and we proceeded to have a two hour lunch with just us. Which was totally fine, Sara's really cool so it all worked out. We tried really hard to have a two hour lunch, we really did... but you really run out of stuff to do fast. However, we did get to leave work early, which was lovely. Now I'm a full blown employee, and I'm just waiting for them to teach me how to use the time clock so I can actually get paid for it...

My little sister gets married in THREE DAYS. How insane is that? And I, her lovely maid of honor, will be coughing and pretending my cold is just me getting sentimental. I promise I will get on here and post pictures once we have some.

Sorry I don't post much anymore. I haven't had much to say, mostly because my word vomit gets me into trouble without me realizing it. Blunt sarcasm doesn't translate well onto paper.

Anyway, this tornado weather has been absolute insanity, my heart goes out to those who have been affected by it (Joplin, MO, for starters...). We've had some insane weather and a lot of tornado watches and warnings but no sightings or me hiding in the bathroom in awhile.

How are all of you, my lovely readers? I hope you all stay safe. :) Happy Wednesday!

For Today, 25 is OLD!

Wowza. I'm sorry. I haven't posted in kind of a really long time! But now I have time, since I'm just lying in bed still with my fiance's MacBook putting off getting up, showering, eating and heading out to Goodwills in the Canton area to start canvasing for wedding reception decorations.

Since I last talked to y'all, my younger sister graduated from college, I finally got promoted at my job from temp to full time (which becomes official as of May 23rd, which also happens to be the 30th anniversary of my parent's wedding...) and I FINALLY went grocery shopping.

Also, yesterday marks eleven months for my Johnny and me, and we are now below the four month mark for the wedding! Which means I need to get crackin'...

All of this makes me feel super old. It doesn't help that today one of my Facebook friends posted the link to a blog that posted 40 Things That Will Make You Feel Old. Things like Clarissa is 35 now, the Pepsi girl is 19, all 18 year olds were born in 1993, Tommy and the Rugrats are all in their 20s by now, and there hasn't been a new Goosebumps book in 14 years!

Excuse me while I listen to Killer Tofu by The Beets with my good buddy Doug over here...

I also created a Facebook event for my little sister's Bachelorette Party next weekend. Then the weekend after that she gets married. MARRIED. Next thing you know we'll all be 50 and our kids will talk about the good ole days when the iPhone was in and how much better it is to just have a chip implanted under your skin so you can communicate with people and a first date is a teleport to watch an old black and white film on the moon.

Or we could go the route of the great Roman Empire and all be thrown back to the dark ages and we'll tell fantastical tales of these amazing inventions called mp3 players while holding up an ancient iPod nano that no longer works and has nearly imploded.

In either case, sometimes I just want to go back to the good old days when I came home from school and watched Saved By The Bell until mom called us for dinner, which we all ate around the dining room table together, before going outside and playing until it was too dark to see. Summer break is an illusion now, since I'm not a teacher, and life is infinitely more complicated.

*sigh*

Nostalgia.

It'll get you every time.

Once Upon a College Day Dreary...

Do you ever have those days where you reflect on life and everything in it and eventually begin to question what it really means to live and breathe and end by finding yourself marveling at the hand you're now holding two inches from your face?

Yeah, me either.

In all seriousness, though, the ugly, dreary, never ending rainy weather (mixed with some other things) has me in the most melancholy mood, inspiring me to examine my life and what I think of it right now. In order to do this I tend to look back on my life as it was and when I want to do that I turn to my journals.

My freshman year of college I began writing in a makeshift journal, this bright orange folder (bottom of that stack!) from H.S. English, the kind with the three prongs? I filled it with notebook paper and began writing just as my senior year of high school ended. Now, seven years later, I have completed twelve journals, spanning six of those seven years, and am working on the thirteenth. However, now that I am no longer in college and don't have the time I once had, it has taken me over a year to get 1/3 of the way through my current journal. There were times where I didn't write for a month or more and then would sit down and write a five page entry, trying my hardest to fill in the blanks. As of today I have decided that this is unacceptable and will hopefully write in my journal at least once every day. But I digress.

Sometimes I really regret bringing out those old journals. There is much that I am ashamed of, as I am sure is true for pretty much anyone. However, I also enjoy them because it is undeniable proof of just how far I've come since I was eighteen. Most of my early journals were all about some boy or another and got somewhat redundant after awhile. I often wrote a list of what I intended to eat that day, what workout I had done, how much weight I had lost (I lost a good ten pounds my freshman year of college, something that made everyone who knew me very worried), how much more I needed to lose, etc, etc etc. There are also some unexpected entries, like the death of my grandmother and, a couple years later, the death of my cousin. I'll find things I had forgotten and other things that caused me to laugh... I am very glad I have those journals. And what's even better is that my handwriting got worse every year so the only person who can really read it is me. :)

What is the point of these journals, you ask?

I am a verbal processor. I have to dwell on things for a long time and write about them and, sometimes, talk about them before coming to any kind of conclusion. Sometimes I have an epiphany. But because I often had no one to discuss these things in my head with I would write about them at length in my journals. Some of these journals were finished in less than six months, notebooks that were twice as thick as the one I'm currently writing in.

Thankfully I have also come a very long way since the folder/notebook journal. Since I was almost always seen writing it became commonplace for people to give me journals for Christmas, my birthday, just because, and so on. I also bought quite a few... I have lots of journals that haven't even been used yet.

So now, having skimmed through some of those old, confusing and silly journals, I will now go write in my current journal. REALLY write, for as long as I can. My brain is so disorganized, but hopefully it won't be once I'm done!

The Royal Wedding

You know, it's interesting how people only care about the things that directly affect them personally.

In reading through status updates on Facebook today a good number of my friends posted about how little they care about the royal wedding this morning in Britain. Others were over the moon about it. But what I noticed is that no one who was over the moon was bashing anyone who didn't care, but a lot of the people who didn't care were bashing those who did, saying how we won the Revolutionary War and if you like monarchs so much move back. 

Silly opinion, I think, considering world events DO matter to us. People care about the situation in Lybia because we have troops over there and it's affecting our gas prices. People care about Iraq and Afghanistan because of the war against terrorism and the fact that we have troops over there. What if we tried caring about other countries, other people? 

I, personally, watched the royal wedding not to see her dress, not just so I can say I did, but because tomorrow it will be history. Important history. I don't know about you, but I learned about all the wives of Henry the VIII and about Bloody Mary and all of those other British monarchs from legends past when I was in school. The world was devastated when Princess Diana died, and yet look at all of those who could care less about her son's marriage and their efforts to make it in memorium of his mother. 

Prince William in second in line to the British throne after his father. At some point, circumstances permitting, he will be the King of England. While I know the king really has very little power, there is still much he would be in charge of and what he does can and might impact the United States. I guarantee that if/when that happens those people who could care less about the monarchs of England will suddenly care quite a bit. Not to mention that we like the British when they ally with us for the various wars we have fought in, among other things. 

So you know what, naysayers? I don't care if you don't care about the wedding. Kindly keep it to yourself. And if you write any comments bashing the opinions I write here in my personal blog, I will gleefully delete them. 

Happy Weekend!

Surprised Much?

So, I was driving home from Kroger and suddenly there was this overwhelming scent of melted cheese and for the life of me I couldn't figure out why... until I realized I was driving past the Macaroni Grill.

I hadn't been at work for long today when suddenly this girl I had seen around the office but never met appears and hands me this large white gift bag with a card hanging off the side. Confused, I thanked her and she walked away.

Brigette, across the aisle, asked if it was my birthday and I'm like noo... my birthday was in February! So I open the card to find that it's a condolence card. My first thought was, wow. How sweet of her! My second thought was how on earth did she know? As far as I knew the only people who knew were my boss and my two coordinators (at least until I told some other people about it) and they swore they hadn't told anyone.

In either case, it was incredibly sweet of her and the card she wrote to me was even sweeter.

Come to find out later that apparently this girl had overheard my boss discussing my Mom's death with one of my coordinators and so she asked about it and they told her. Then, for awhile now, God has been putting it on her heart to do something kind for me, so she gave me this present.

Inside was a lovely journal, a photo album, an orange-mandarin (? I think?) candle, and the entire bottom was laced with butterscotch candies, which I piled onto my desk with a homemade sign that says "Eat Me". No one did (I had a couple) but I left it there and will continue to leave it there until people do.

Anyway, this is by far the best thing that has happened to me at this job, besides being allowed to work from home for three weeks while my mom was in hospice. It absolutely made my day that much brighter. Thanks so much, Jessica! It meant more to me than you'll ever know. :)