It rained today, a lovely spring rain, and when I finally got home and was able to enjoy sitting inside and listen to it fall gently on the roof I looked up pictures of and fell in love with red umbrellas.
It reminds me of that photographer who captures children wearing various different outfits from decades long before they were thought of and the picture is entirely black and white except for a rose. Or her lips. Or his bandana. I don't know what it is, but something about these pictures captures my attention, touches my heart, I'm captivated.
There's just something about today. I feel... Light. Alive. Free. I laughed today, really laughed. And I'm glad, because I haven't felt this way for awhile. For once I don't have to be doing something, to be with somebody... I can just lie on my bed and stare at the ceiling and dream big dreams and think deep thoughts and talk face to face with Jesus, the only man in this world who will never let me down or make me feel like I'm less than amazing.
Yesterday I took a trip to Columbus to pick up my bridesmaid dress, and since that only takes about five minutes after the hour long drive it didn't make sense to come straight home so instead I took myself out to the Easton mall for a day with my good friends Barnes and Noble. Ever heard of them? They're kind of a big deal. And we spent a good long time checking out books and I bought one of the best books I have ever read.
This book is about "Sex. God. They're connected. And they can't be separated. Where the one is, you will always find the other. This is a book about how sexuality is the 'this' and spirituality is the 'that'. To make sense of one, we have to explore the other."
I pored over this book, bought it five minutes after I found it, and sat down in the Starbucks area to read it. It wasn't long before I came to
chapter six: worth dying for, and read exactly what I needed to hear:
"Do you realize? You don't need a man by your side to validate you as a woman. You already are loved and valued. You're good enough exactly as you are. Do you believe this? Because it's true. You have limitless worth and value. If you embrace this truth, it will affect every area of life, especially your relationship with men."
Holy. Crap.
Thank heaven for Sex God and Red Umbrellas.
