While I was working today I put in Steel Magnolias on dvd to listen to so I wouldn't get bored. My college put on that play a few years back and Mom and I went to see it together. We had a marvelous time, laughing and comparing/contrasting the movie against the play while watching my sister's mother in-law, my academic adviser, and a few of my peers as they did a wonderful job. As I listened to the film today I thought back to that day and the fun Mom and I had and I admit I teared up a little. There were so few things that mom and I did where it was just the two of us, the most recent being when I drove her to radiation and chemo a few times before moving to Cincinnati. It saddens me when I realize all the chances I had to learn more about her and get to know her that I willingly turned down to do other things that, looking back now, weren't nearly as important as I felt they were at the time. Had I known she wouldn't be around forever...
On the night before my wedding, sometime around 1:25am, I was on Facebook because I couldn't sleep so I hopped on over to the page I created back in January for my mom's friends and family. As I thought about how my wedding was in X number of hours and how my mom wasn't there to coach me and my bridesmaids on how to walk and the groomsmen on how to stand correctly and when to turn and basically be awesome, I wrote this post:
Dear Mommy;
My wedding is TODAY.
True Story.
Can't wait to see you there. :)
Love,
Emily
I knew she would be there with all of us in spirit. Nothing, not even death, would keep her from her daughter's wedding. And after the ceremony was over and the food at the reception had been eaten and Johnny and I had changed clothes and got into our very creatively decorated car (thanks guys!) and drove away, suddenly the evening sky turned into this:
For those of you who follow me who are also my friends on Facebook, maybe you'll remember the incredible, never seen in February before, so amazing that it made the front page above the fold in the Daily Jeffersonian rainbow that happened the day of Mom's memorial just before her graveside service:
What made this rainbow so incredible is the fact that, according to a good friend who loves meteorology, rainbows usually appear in the east because they're created by the light of afternoon sun after the rain has passed. But in this case, it was created by the dawning sun's rays shooting into oncoming rain and therefore appeared in the west. And also because it appeared only an hour before Mom's memorial.
Rainbows have so much more meaning for me now.
Until today I had forgotten all about that post I wrote so late at night before my wedding. But now, now it all makes sense. My mom was there, she was THERE, with us just as I had said she would be. And here I am, just a little piece of immortality, keeping my mother alive. :) How wonderful life is.
