Hey hey, world! It's Wednesday already, which is amazing in and of itself. Life passes by so quickly, sometimes, and sometimes it feels like you're going nowhere when in fact you've gone further than many thought you ever would.
My week has been fraught with all kinds of craziness. Sunday, which I was so looking forward to, was clouded by rain and the discovery of the death of a girl with whom I attended college. I checked my Facebook (something I can do easily from my new phone) to find status updates about Amy Adams, many of them asking for prayer and wishing that she rest in peace... Not being in the loop anymore, I messaged and sent texts until I found out the truth of her death, information that left me completely lethargic with grief. More than anything I wanted to play the piano but had, unfortunately, left my music at home so I wrote my sisters begging for one of them to please, please scan some music and send it to me! One of them did, finally, but a few days late. Even though I didn't know Amy well, the death of a 20 year old who was thriving and well and wonderful the last time I saw her is a major blow and a huge tragedy. As one friend put it, "The whole school is quiet". Suddenly the worries of my life didn't mean so much anymore. The joy of finding the books I wanted, the annoyance of driving so far to get where I need to be, the indignation of not being fully understood by many of the people I see on a daily basis... none of that really mattered much anymore. Because Amy's death was a tragedy, something that could have been prevented. She was probably looking forward to a hike that day with her boyfriend, a way to lessen the stress of finals, not knowing what would happen. It could have happened to any of us. And out of everyone it happened to, it had to be Amy. Like I said, I didn't know her well, but what I did know was this: she was kind, loving, funny (in her own, quiet way), and passionate about the people in her life and her relationship with God. Out of all the people on this earth, God took Amy, and only he knows why. But that's what my Sunday became, and I fed my grief with a movie and some reading and it lasted through the following day.
Work this week has been SO boring. Monday gave us a new trainer, as we have someone new every week, and it has become very hard to stay interested. Though to some it may look like ignorance, my problem is that it's hard for me to retain information that I care nothing about. We discussed ESNs yesterday (electronic serial numbers) and it was extensive and unalterably boring. When time came to do a group activity, I had to have the trainer repeat the instructions a few times before I began to comprehend exactly what we were doing and even then I lost my train of thought. To some I may look incredibly slow and stupid, but I knew it was because the information left me in a stupor of boredom. Today, on the other hand, we discussed texting and I had slept well for once and felt pretty good and was answering questions left and right and on the top of my game. If anyone thought I was stupid yesterday, they didn't think that today. Most likely it was because 1. I was in an unalterably good mood today for no apparent reason, 2. it was a subject I knew much about and 3. I was afraid of being seen as stupid and was making a valiant effort to stay aware. The benefit is that I learned something new today that I didn't know about texting and it's something I want everyone to try. If you have texting, dial in the number 46645 (or GOOGL, aka google without the E) and type in a question. An area code, a math problem, the location of a place where you can buy a soccer ball... and within moments Google will text you back with the answer. It's amazing! I asked it for places to buy a guitar and it sent me a reply in three separate texts! So everyone should try it, it's cheaper than calling 411 (which costs $1.49 every time. Texting is merely $0.20 to get and recieve, unless you have a text bundle already in which case overage is $0.10. With Verizon, that is) and probably faster too!
See the kind of amazing things one can learn when employed at Verizon Wireless? And it's something I can tell you because it's common knowledge already released to the public, which may not always be the case.
Beyond work and church (which was amazing, yet again) there is the subject of my friendships. On Monday one of my work friends informed me that my problem is that I'm too nice. We were informed before leaving for the day that we'd be assigned new seats the following day. While I could care less whom I sit next to, one of my friends cared very much. That friend is the one who told me I'm too nice. She also told me that she sees me as a country girl in a big world. What's amusing to me about that comment is that everyone in CT who has never visited Ohio automatically considers the whole state of Ohio 'country'. Though I'm a small town girl, I am not a country girl. It's also amusing because people in the small town told me I belong in the city. This leads me to wonder where I really belong. I do NOT belong in a suburb. I really don't belong in Connecticut, to be completely honest.
I discussed the country girl comment with another girl in my class today and she completely disagreed. She said she'd had me pegged as a free spirit, a love everyone, peaceful, hippie kind of person, which, for the most part, I am. She also admires me for my bravery of moving away from the State in which I've always lived to work in an entirely new place. Adventurous, she called me. I've gotten that a lot lately, and I suppose that in a way I am. Moving to an unfamiliar place doesn't seem like adventure to me, but that's just a matter of opinion. I will admit, however, that it's nice to see not everyone from Connecticut thinks I'm a dixie chick.
One thing I will say is that living here in a place where no one knows me at all is refreshing in that I can be entirely myself. That year I spent unemployed and working at the preschool really taught me a lot about who I am, so much so that I can come to a new place and not be altered by the people I meet like the me of old would have. It's a mervelous feeling to know you're set in who you are and to be content with that person.
However, I do know that Connecticut is not my destiny. After a year of work is under my belt I intend to move to Washington State. From the music I've heard and the books I've read that come from people out there, I'll fit in quite nicely. Boy, wouldn't that be a welcome change!
