Lately I have become a little obsessed with movies in which the protagonist does not get what he or she expected/hoped for/deserved. The kind of movie that is so wonderful to watch, and so beautiful, and yet leaves you feeling slightly drained and morose and sad.
Or at least, that's what they do to me. I am kind of tender hearted and it doesn't take much to make me tear up anymore.
What movies, you ask? Well, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, Apollo 13, Field of Dreams, and Eight Men Out are the ones I have watched this week. Now, I had seen all of these movies before, and I know the famous one liners ("If you build it, he will come"), and yet I found myself almost bursting with tears of joy as everyone rejoiced the return of the astronauts and their successful landing in the ocean at the conclusion of Apollo 13, shedding tears as Benjamin leaves Daisy so their daughter can live a normal life, and shaking with anger at the injustice of not permitting Buck Weaver and Joe Jackson to play ball ever again when they had nothing to do with throwing the 1919 World Series.
*disclaimer* if you haven't seen any of these films, or some of them... what are you waiting for?? Go watch!
I admit that Benjamin Button is my favorite of that list. If I want to be stuck in deep contemplation and melancholy all I have to do is watch Benjamin Button and I'm there in an instant. The whole film is about being who you are and making the most of every opportunity... but it's also about loss and loneliness. I feel keenly the separation there always seems to be between Daisy and Benjamin, with the exception of a few short years, and it makes me so sad. As I told my best friend the other day when we were discussing it, if only Benjamin had been born normal, then he and Daisy would have had more time! They could have grown old together! But then it wouldn't be such a remarkable and heartbreaking story about how nothing lasts.
I'm sorry, I'm rambling. But there are so many thoughts and emotions that flow through me when I watch certain movies, read certain books... I read F. Scott Fitzgerald's short story about Benjamin Button, and I hated it! Daisy doesn't exist in the short story at all, she's a character they invented and then named for the lead female in The Great Gatsby, one of Fitzgerald's most popular works. Instead Benjamin marries some woman who eventually looks too old and he loses interest. Unlike the Benjamin in the film, the one in the book has the maturity of an old person when he looks old, and deals with adolescence when he looks young. So for once I actually appreciated the film significantly more than the original story. I cry every time.
I don't know. That's just what has been on my mind this week. Since the death of my mom and the upcoming marriage of my sister and my own marriage and the eventual children that will come from these marriages and all of these changes that have occurred so suddenly in my own life, the idea that "Nothing lasts" becomes more true every day. Most of the time it's a good thing. It's natural for life to run it's course, for people to fall in love and get married and raise children, and for traditions to change, people to come into our lives and then, eventually, leave just as suddenly. But sometimes the reality of it all, the mortality of it all, the pain and suffering that comes hand in hand with living life overwhelms and just takes over before we can stop it.
However. As for me. Assuming I live to a great old age, I've still got a good 50 years left to enjoy my life, to enjoy my future husband, to make children and a home and really just grasp life by the throat and make the most of every opportunity equipped with the knowledge that nothing lasts, nothing is certain, and nothing will ever be the same as it was yesterday. When I was a kid my sisters and I played the alphabet game and the license plate game in the car to keep us entertained on long trips. We didn't have video games and portable DVD players and iPods to keep us occupied, nor did we need them. Now I got to Applebees with Johnny and I see a family waiting to be seated where all three boys have a portable video game and both parents have their phones. And I think that's sad, but that is how our world has changed. And when those kids are old they'll say "In MY day, we had..." much the way that elderly people today claim to have walked uphill both ways barefoot in three feet of snow to get to school.
Now I really AM rambling, so this is where I'll stop.
Headed to the park for a good long walk. I hope you all enjoy this beautiful evening!
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