Surprised Much?

So, I was driving home from Kroger and suddenly there was this overwhelming scent of melted cheese and for the life of me I couldn't figure out why... until I realized I was driving past the Macaroni Grill.

I hadn't been at work for long today when suddenly this girl I had seen around the office but never met appears and hands me this large white gift bag with a card hanging off the side. Confused, I thanked her and she walked away.

Brigette, across the aisle, asked if it was my birthday and I'm like noo... my birthday was in February! So I open the card to find that it's a condolence card. My first thought was, wow. How sweet of her! My second thought was how on earth did she know? As far as I knew the only people who knew were my boss and my two coordinators (at least until I told some other people about it) and they swore they hadn't told anyone.

In either case, it was incredibly sweet of her and the card she wrote to me was even sweeter.

Come to find out later that apparently this girl had overheard my boss discussing my Mom's death with one of my coordinators and so she asked about it and they told her. Then, for awhile now, God has been putting it on her heart to do something kind for me, so she gave me this present.

Inside was a lovely journal, a photo album, an orange-mandarin (? I think?) candle, and the entire bottom was laced with butterscotch candies, which I piled onto my desk with a homemade sign that says "Eat Me". No one did (I had a couple) but I left it there and will continue to leave it there until people do.

Anyway, this is by far the best thing that has happened to me at this job, besides being allowed to work from home for three weeks while my mom was in hospice. It absolutely made my day that much brighter. Thanks so much, Jessica! It meant more to me than you'll ever know. :)

Post-Easter Thought

My Easter was a little different.

For the very first time ever, I did not wake up in the house I grew up in on Easter morning.

And even if I had woken on Easter morning in the house I grew up in, I probably would have been overwhelmed by nostalgia and sadness because it was the very first holiday without my Mom. My mom, who filled Easter baskets for her daughters no matter how old we were.

Instead, I woke up at Johnny's house early so I could make myself presentable before the hour long drive to my Dad's church. When I went into the kitchen, I discovered Easter bags, one for me and one for Johnny, from his loving and giving mother. She remembered I can't have chocolate and gave me all of my favorite candy as well as a bag of banana chips, the best dried fruit in existence. It made me smile.

We went to church with my family, and that was weird because a.) we sat in the back next to the sound booth and we usually sit near the front and b.) they almost completely eliminated the church lobby in order to create more seating because c.) there were more people there that I didn't know than ones that I did. BUT. The music was wonderful, showcasing a few of the younger generation's ability to sing and play the violin, and Dad's sermon was the best I have heard in quite some time. It wasn't your usual Easter sermon at all, as he preached about the 1046 pages between Genesis 3:22-24 and Revelation 22:1-5, which is the number of pages between the banishment from the garden of Eden and getting back to the Tree of Life. "Jesus got us the garden back! How did He do it: the 1046 pages in between!" (Dad's facebook status on Sunday). It was wonderful. I wouldn't mind hearing it again.

However, the service was culminated by my younger sister getting up on stage and playing the piano. She was going to sing too, but the song she chose was "How Beautiful", the song my Mom always sang, the song I posted on here back in January. She couldn't even choke out the first line before the tears came. I was sitting with my other sister Jennie, and the two of us were crying as well, but also singing along from our seats until Jennie decided to join Anne on stage and finish out the song. I don't think any of us will ever be able to perform that song without releasing the floodgates.

After church we went back to the house, where I promptly locked my keys in my car and we were a half hour late getting to my sister's in Columbus because it took so long to break in. After getting hanger stuck in a crease in the door, Dad working on the passenger side while Johnny took over for me on the driver's, hangers breaking and a few close misses, Johnny finally scored and got the door unlocked. It put me in an unfortunate bad mood, but I got over it by the time I made deviled eggs at Erin's.

Yes. I am THE family deviled egg maker, and I am proud to say that I made 22 deviled eggs and they were all gone by the time everyone was served.

Dinner was also when Dad went through legal papers and gave each of his daughters a copy of the will he made up after Mom died, along with some other stuff.

We spent the afternoon eating a ridiculous amount of candy and playing Mario Kart on the Wii, which was great fun, while my Dad drove Jennie to the airport. Her two best friends paid for her to take a trip with them to Orlando, FL, to visit not only Disney but also Universal Studios and the new Harry Potter World. I could not be more jealous than I am about this. However, she did find out for me that butterbeer is caffeine free, so when I go someday I'll be able to have it. :)

The nice thing about my Easter was that it meant my trip back to Cincinnati was broken into three. I drove from Canton to New Concord, which is an hour, and then from New Concord to Columbus, another hour, and then from Columbus to Cincinnati, a mere hour and a half. It was glorious, and it meant that I could stick around at my sister's house and play Settlers of Catan and actually finishing the game before I had to leave.

It was all part of the new normal we as a family have to embrace. Traditions will change now that Mom is gone and that most of us are married or nearly married, and while that is the only kind of change I find hard to cope with it's something I'll have to get used to whether I want to or not. Now that we've experienced it once, every time it will get easier and easier until new traditions have been formed and cemented and we are all able to enjoy and appreciate and be thankful for the place this change has brought us to.

So I hope all of you, my wonderful readers, had a blessed Easter Sunday, whether you believe in God or not.

Oh Great Deep Thought...

Lately I have become a little obsessed with movies in which the protagonist does not get what he or she expected/hoped for/deserved. The kind of movie that is so wonderful to watch, and so beautiful, and yet leaves you feeling slightly drained and morose and sad.

Or at least, that's what they do to me. I am kind of tender hearted and it doesn't take much to make me tear up anymore.

What movies, you ask? Well, The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, Apollo 13, Field of Dreams, and Eight Men Out are the ones I have watched this week. Now, I had seen all of these movies before, and I know the famous one liners ("If you build it, he will come"), and yet I found myself almost bursting with tears of joy as everyone rejoiced the return of the astronauts and their successful landing in the ocean at the conclusion of Apollo 13, shedding tears as Benjamin leaves Daisy so their daughter can live a normal life, and shaking with anger at the injustice of not permitting Buck Weaver and Joe Jackson to play ball ever again when they had nothing to do with throwing the 1919 World Series.

*disclaimer* if you haven't seen any of these films, or some of them... what are you waiting for?? Go watch!

I admit that Benjamin Button is my favorite of that list. If I want to be stuck in deep contemplation and melancholy all I have to do is watch Benjamin Button and I'm there in an instant. The whole film is about being who you are and making the most of every opportunity... but it's also about loss and loneliness. I feel keenly the separation there always seems to be between Daisy and Benjamin, with the exception of a few short years, and it makes me so sad. As I told my best friend the other day when we were discussing it, if only Benjamin had been born normal, then he and Daisy would have had more time! They could have grown old together! But then it wouldn't be such a remarkable and heartbreaking story about how nothing lasts.

I'm sorry, I'm rambling. But there are so many thoughts and emotions that flow through me when I watch certain movies, read certain books... I read F. Scott Fitzgerald's short story about Benjamin Button, and I hated it! Daisy doesn't exist in the short story at all, she's a character they invented and then named for the lead female in The Great Gatsby, one of Fitzgerald's most popular works. Instead Benjamin marries some woman who eventually looks too old and he loses interest. Unlike the Benjamin in the film, the one in the book has the maturity of an old person when he looks old, and deals with adolescence when he looks young. So for once I actually appreciated the film significantly more than the original story. I cry every time.

I don't know. That's just what has been on my mind this week. Since the death of my mom and the upcoming marriage of my sister and my own marriage and the eventual children that will come from these marriages and all of these changes that have occurred so suddenly in my own life, the idea that "Nothing lasts" becomes more true every day. Most of the time it's a good thing. It's natural for life to run it's course, for people to fall in love and get married and raise children, and for traditions to change, people to come into our lives and then, eventually, leave just as suddenly. But sometimes the reality of it all, the mortality of it all, the pain and suffering that comes hand in hand with living life overwhelms and just takes over before we can stop it.

However. As for me. Assuming I live to a great old age, I've still got a good 50 years left to enjoy my life, to enjoy my future husband, to make children and a home and really just grasp life by the throat and make the most of every opportunity equipped with the knowledge that nothing lasts, nothing is certain, and nothing will ever be the same as it was yesterday. When I was a kid my sisters and I played the alphabet game and the license plate game in the car to keep us entertained on long trips. We didn't have video games and portable DVD players and iPods to keep us occupied, nor did we need them. Now I got to Applebees with Johnny and I see a family waiting to be seated where all three boys have a portable video game and both parents have their phones. And I think that's sad, but that is how our world has changed. And when those kids are old they'll say "In MY day, we had..." much the way that elderly people today claim to have walked uphill both ways barefoot in three feet of snow to get to school.

Now I really AM rambling, so this is where I'll stop.

Headed to the park for a good long walk. I hope you all enjoy this beautiful evening!

Tornado

I am currently camped out in my bathroom. Was woken up a good forty five minutes ago by the sirens and, until five minutes ago, I was sitting in the hallway unsure what to do. I heard other people out in the corridor, but I don't feel safe going back into my room to get any shoes or anything so I'm just going to stay here unless told something different.

I've never gone through anything like this away from my parent's house. It's times like these where I can say I want my Daddy. He's weather savvy, I wish he were here. I wish I was still sleeping, actually. Work tomorrow will suck because I won't be able to stay awake...

Found a good FM radio station on my phone, but a moment ago it got really fuzzy, probably due to the wind. I'm going to see if I can find their website now, I need to stay informed.

Hope the rest of you are safe as well, wherever you are.

You Know You Live In A Mixed Community When...

You walk in the building and it smells like curry, you hear hardcore R&B wailing from a car pulling in the parking lot and a bunch of guys are playing cricket outside on a nice day.

I admit I thought about taking a picture... but it would have been obvious and a little awkward and yeah. I didn't take one.

So this actually has nothing to do with what I wanted to post today. :)

I've been needing a coffee table for awhile now. A long while. And Johnny has one that he's eventually going to give me, but until that happens I had to improvise. A couple of friends gave me these wire cube things you can put together in whatever shape and I had a few left from the yarn holder I put together (go here for that story!) . Downside is that it's see through and looked a little funny so I grabbed foam board and a few records and this is what came out.

At some point I'll probably use the silver Sharpies I have and doodle on top. We'll have to wait and see. For now I'm only using it to rest things on, I'm afraid to prop my feet on it because it might bend or something.

Anywho, I just wanted to share my random craftiness. Sorry I have posted more, I really haven't had much I wanted to say. I'll work on that and get back to you. ;)

Off to the park for a run!! Loving this beautiful weather, hope you all are too! And I'll be posting later about my weekend, it was full of surprises!

Singing Stuff

Okay. I'm posting this a teensy bit late, but, really, honestly, y'all are lucky I'm posting it at all.

On one of Mom's last Sundays with us my sister's band came to give a little acoustic concert. And I recorded it with my phone. You can see in this video my mom, my dad, my aunt and cousin, the band, our current family doctor (who took a special interest in Mom's case and was her hospice doctor, as well as being a good friend), and many, many others. It's a full room.

And the reason I didn't post it is because just a short way into it I started singing along and I'm kind of loud and feel bad about overpowering a little... but I've decided to post it because, really, Affix is an awesome band, they have a great sound, and I would say that even if my sister wasn't they keyboardist.

Apologies for the poor quality... this was taken with my phone, after all. And again, an apology for me singing.

Enjoy!

Myspace Flashback...

So, I'm borrowing this from amyschmamey and I'm going to enjoy every second of it. Normally I'm not a (public) fan of surveys like this, but I'm in the mood for something different. :)

A = Available - Not at all! Yay engaged-ness to the best guy ever!

B = Best Friend - My best friends (yes, plural. My survey, deal with it!) are Jessie, June and Johnny! Wow, lots of J's...
C = Cake or Pie - hmmm.... to be honest, probably pie.
D = Drink of Choice - either plain old ice water or lemonade
E = Essential item you use every day - my phone. Many many times a day.
F = Favorite color - There was once a time when I liked all colors and didn't have a favorite. However, i have recently decided I'm madly in love with purple.
G = Gummy Bears or Worms - neither. Gummies hurt my teeth.
H = Hometown - New Concord (or Conquered, however you believe you need to pronounce it) Ohio, y'all!

I = Indulgences - homemade banana cake. Mmmm....
J = January or February - February by a long shot! It's my birthday month, it's over fast, it means winter is even closer to being over, and I will hate January forever from this year on.
K = Kids and Names - I don't have any children yet, but when Johnny and I get busy we like Liam and Ellen Joy for our hypothetical children.
L = Life is incomplete without? - family. When friends fail you, you have your family always. At least, you do when you have a family like mine.
M = Marriage Date - September 10th, 2011
N = Number of Siblings - 3 sisters, Erin, Jennie and Anne, 2 brothers in-law Derrick and Jarrod, and a really close friend I call my brother, Caleb. :)

O = Oranges or Apples - apples. Love love apples, apple cider, apple juice, apple pie, caramel apples....
P = Phobias or Fears - Trypanophobia, also known as the fear of needles.
Also, just for giggles... Nomophobia - the fear of being out of mobile phone contact, and Anatidaephobia - the fear that somewhere, somehow, a duck is watching you.
bahahahaha!
Q = Favorite Quote - "...it was written I should be loyal to the nightmare of my choice." ~ Joseph Conrad, Heart of Darkness. How profound is that???
R = Reason to Smile - Well, A. it is almost Friday and it's a Canton weekend which means B. I get to see Johnny in roughly 28 hours! And C. the weather is gorgeousness. :)
S = Season - fall.

T = Tag 3 or 4 people - meh. No thanks.
U = Unknown Fact about me - I wish I could run a marathon. Seriously! It'd be amazing to have that kind of stamina, plus it would mean I'm in rockin' shape.
V = Vegetable you don't like - Uh...... I'm pretty sure there's no such thing.
W = Worst Habit - don't be grossed out, but I tend to pick at stuff... nail polish... scabs... dead skin... yeah, you're grossed out. Sorry!
X = X-Rays - Mouth, knees. The dentist takes them once a year, and my poor knees were x-rayed back in September and the results took away my running happiness.
Y = Your favorite food - quite honestly, my little sister makes these amazing sour cream mashed potatoes, and she made a whole bunch for me when I had surgery and I literally ate them every day and probably could eat them every day for my entire life.
Z = Zodiac sign - Aquarius, though i don't set much store by that stuff.


Have a great day!