A Recap

Life has been a little crazy over the last three and a half months.

What with working and two months of mandatory overtime and planning baby showers and there being two engagements in my family and buying bridesmaid dresses and hanging out with Johnny and trying to get all three star coins in every single level of Super Mario Bros Wii and cooking and cleaning and laundry and dishes I've been rather busy. I won't bore you with every detail of daily life here over the past few months but I shall give you some highlights.

To start with, I turned 26! Johnny and I both took the day off and had a lovely day of eating out and walking dogs at the humane society. Though we would love to eventually get a dog, my work level and having absolutely no idea how to care for one meant that we decided against it for now. It will, however, be in our future.

The day before I turned 26 my Dad got engaged to a lovely woman he has been seeing since around November. Her name is Elaine and we all like her very much. They'll be getting married in May and I will then have a step sister and two step brothers, plus a step brother and sister in law.

A month or so ago, Johnny qualified for a district bowling tournament in Newark, OH. If he won first place he would go on to Las Vegas for the national tournament. Well, guess what, he won! So he gets an all expense paid trip to Vegas and I am going with him! We only had to pay for my airfare, and we leave on the 26th of this month. We're both very excited, and if he wins first at this tournament we come home with $50,000. It's a HUGE opportunity.

We installed a shower! It's been a few months, of course, but it is just lovely to not have to try to get clean while sitting in your own filth. For all the romanticism of taking a bath, it's just not fun to do on a daily basis.

My oldest sister is very pregnant with her very first child and we threw her a shower a couple of weeks ago. My other two sisters and I did our best to plan long distance, since Anne is in Virginia and I'm up here and Jennie is in New Concord, but we pulled it off and it was great fun. There was a fairly large crowd, and instead of games we made crafts. My friend June and I decorated a onesie and we won second place for creativity!

The Red Queen. She kicks it every time.

This also gave me a chance to be creative and use my new sewing machine to make an adorable stuffed animal.

Little Margot will join the world sometime in June.


On top of all of this, the night before Erin's shower Jennie got engaged! She and Art have been together for I'm not sure how long because she didn't tell anyone she was dating him until a couple of months later, but we've met him and like him and he and Johnny get along quite well. Jennie and Art will be getting married this fall and I get to buy yet another bridesmaid dress. If my daughter is my size when she's seventeen, she will never have to buy a prom dress.

And finally, Johnny and I joined a bowling league together. He was already in a league with some of his guy friends that just ended this past Monday, so this time we're bowling together! We start on Sunday evening, and I am proud to tell you that I own my own bowling ball and have been slowly learning to bowl MUCH better than I used to.

And there you have it! Life in the Cross house. :) Ciao, friends!

One Year

Slowly, very slowly, we come down to it. The final hour. The one year mark of my mom's passing.

I absolutely cannot believe it has been a year. Honestly it feels like a lifetime ago while also feeling like yesterday. Or the day before yesterday, a time when Mom was here and healthy and just a phone call away. Even though this month has been rough for me, and probably will be for a long time to come, I keep trying to remember the good times. I remind myself that, even though those 18 days of horror while Mom was in hospice were 18 days I would never, ever wish to relive, there were some moments that have become my favorite memories.

Today I was thinking a lot about my sisters, about how we all live so far apart now and don't see each other as often as we used to, and I suddenly was reminded of that first night spent at my parents house on January 12, 2011. With so many people in the house the sleeping situation was... interesting. It meant that I and all three of my sisters and one brother in-law spent the night all crammed into Anne's little room. Her bed was in there and we managed to squeeze a roll away bed in there and then a ton of blankets and sleeping bags and maybe an air mattress cushioned three people on the floor. It was snowing heavily outside, and it was probably around 11pm and we're all snuggled up in bed laughing hysterically at Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World. It was a wonderfully fun time, one that I will always cherish, and it reminds me that no matter what the circumstances, when we're in times of sorrow we band together and hold one another up. The same thing happened at my grandmother's funeral back in 2004. There was a single couch in the viewing area of the funeral home and somehow all four of us squeezed ourselves onto it and we were making each other laugh. No matter what happens we have been able to find the joyful side, the humorous side, of life.

Anyway, there isn't any real plan for Sunday except that Johnny and I are going to head down and visit Mom and hang out with Jennie and her friend at the house and order pizza and play video games and oh, the times we'll have! In the meantime I'll remember my mom, as much as I can, and remind myself every day what made her so special and the ways in which I am very much her daughter. I am determined to be the kind of daughter that would make her proud.

P.S. My birthday is a week from today. Who is excited besides me?!?!?!? ;-)

The "Crafty" One

I like to sew.

It's true.

When I lived at home I sewed all the time, fixing this shirt and that, making letter shirts for my sorority, sewing my Varsity letters onto my Varsity jacket, etc. Since I moved out, however, and have not had a sewing machine all of that has stopped.

UNTIL NOW.

Johnny and I are supposed to inherit an ancient sewing machine, the kind that is set into a table for storage, from his Aunt Nancy and we just haven't really had the time to go pick it up. However, the other day I got an email from Aunt Nancy that was forwarded from Sears; she bought us a brand new sewing machine. A beautiful, blue and white Singer sewing machine.

And Johnny picked it up on Wednesday. Though I haven't used it yet, it will definitely be used for all kinds of reasons and I am SO stoked!

Thank you thank you Aunt Nancy! You made my creativeness come back to life!

2011: A Recap

2011 was quite a year. Looking back on it I honestly didn't do much more than drive so much that I now have more mileage on my car than my husband does on his, and he's had his car for a good year or two longer. What with spending time with Johnny, my mom's death, moving, weddings and showers it seems like a busy year but I'd guess I spent most of it in my car.

Event number one: Mom's death.

It's almost been a year, but it feels like yesterday. I can't believe I made it through this year without her and I really wish I hadn't had to.

Event(s) number two: seeing my extended family a whole lot more. I know this doesn't really seem like an event, but due to Mom's death I got to see my CT relatives and they got to come spend time in Ohio for the very first time I think ever, other than Erin's wedding in 2009. For one of my cousins it was her first time out here and it was kind of fun taking them to places like Chipotle, which for some strange reason they don't have on the East Coast.

Event number three: Anne (finally) got married!

Jarrod's been part of the family since the two of them were in the 7th grade and now, ten years later, they're happily hitched and living far away in Virginia. This even also proved that, no matter how much you fight when you're kids, when you become and adult your sisters sometimes become your best friends. If you had asked me when I was thirteen if Anne would choose me to be her maid of honor I'd probably have laughed in your face.

Event number four: Johnny and I got married!

If you want my advice, never EVER plan a wedding with people who live an hour or more away from you because it is the biggest pain in the you know what and is kind of stressful. I'm just proud that we pulled it off, that my colors didn't look bad together, and that I have heard a number of compliments on our reception. One person said it was the "funnest" wedding reception they'd been to.

Event number five: my sister got knocked up! We're finally going to have a little Blood kid running around. I mean, I technically became a great aunt when I married Johnny because his sister is 20 years his senior and has a daughter who is only four years behind us and she already has a kid and a half. But this is one of my sisters and it means that whenever I get knocked up she can help me out.

Event number six: the holiday season, married, sans my mom.

Christmas, though a little different, was great fun. It's always a strange Christmas when it takes place on a Sunday because no matter what Dad will NOT cancel church. If you asked him he'd tell you we're already celebrating the reason for Christmas every Sunday anyway, why take the day off when it's an even better reason to celebrate? Anywho, Johnny and I started the holiday with him working and me at home cranking out Christmas cookies for Jennie because she didn't have time to make them. When he came home we got dolled up and went to see his parent's and exchange presents, etc, and then went to his mom's church in Bolivar to watch her sing. Immediately after we drove to New Concord where we opened all the family presents together. This has never happened before, but since Anne and Jarrod were planning to spend Christmas day with Jarrod's family it was the only chance for the whole group of us to get together.
Not to toot Johnny's and my horn, but from my estimation the presents Johnny and I gave tended to be the favorites. We gave Dad an iPad, which I don't think he has let out of his sight since he opened it. We gave Jennie Tennis Shoes by Noel Streatfield, which apparently she already owns but her copy is missing the last twelve pages. As soon as she unwrapped it she opened it and proceeded to read the last twelve pages before unwrapping anything else. We gave Anne a backpack shaped like Darth Vader. She squealed when she opened it and immediately put it on and didn't take it off for the entire night. We gave Jarrod thick, warm hiking socks and those hand warmer things. As he's a Marine and in training in winter he was very grateful.

After the present opening excitement we played CatchPhrase. Anne insisted I be on her team so that, if necessary, she could reference Gilmore Girls to me to get the right answer, and we all discovered just how intelligent our reticent men are. Since we women are kind of loud and talkative it's hard for the men to be heard. Until we play a game.

Christmas Day was a blur of driving and food and suddenly it was over. Johnny and I are lucky in that his family and mine don't live so far apart that we can't see all of them at holiday time.

Event number seven: New Year's Eve.
Johnny had to work and I spent the entire day cleaning and attempting to do laundry. Our washer has decided rinsing is too difficult so we have a pile of laundry a mile high. We ended up spending the evening together eating hot dogs/brats and sauerkraut and watching season 8 of Smallville until 11:58 when we went down to watch the ball drop. Quiet, uneventful, just the two of us.

Here's hoping that 2012 has just as much love, joy, and friendship, if not more, as this past year has.

If you suffered through this post, congratulations!

Happy New Year, friends. :)

Bang Head Here

My fifth grade teacher did that once. Out of nowhere she got up from her desk, walked to the chalkboard and drew a large circle above which she wrote those three words. She then hit her head on the board in the middle of the circle and walked back to her desk. My most favorite teacher ever, and I was lucky enough to have her again in the 7th grade. Not because I failed fifth grade math and had to take it over but because she was made into a 7th grade teacher. Made my world.

I've been MIA and that is mostly because of the following reasons:
a. I honestly have nothing to write about, unless you want to hear my daily work-related complaint.
b. There are too many things I had to get done on a daily basis and I didn't have time.

But today I have the day off (angel choir sings here)! That is actually the reason for my title, as I got up at the normal work hour and clocked in and started keying my claims at the usual time until around 8:20 when I asked my boss, who happened to be online at that moment, a question and she responded with "You know we're off today, right?"

Um... no....

So I got to feel like a big dumb idiot and also have a little dance party because hey! I don't have to work today!

Since I have the time, I will be posting twice today. This is my random thought post, and I will now proceed to write the somewhat obligatory 2011 recap post.

And btw, if you're my friend on Facebook and you saw that I'm taking the month of January off from that particular social network, it doesn't mean I deactivated and therefore my posts will show up on the news feed, same as usual. It does NOT mean I reneged on my no-Facebook pledge.

See you in a bit!

Lynn's Christmas Cookies

It is my favorite weather up here in Northern Ohio today. It's gloomy and mild and very, very windy, the kind of windy where I feared the giant bushes in the front of our house might be blown down and when I heard the tornado siren test this morning I checked the weather channel to make sure I didn't need to be doing my work in our creepy, dirty basement. Maybe it's weird, but I love these windy days.

Last weekend I made the hour and a bit trip down to my Dad's house to help my sisters and a number of our family and friends make my mom's annual Christmas cookies.

Every single year for as long as I can remember my mom has made dozens and dozens and dozens of cookies and candies, the sort of thing I only ever experienced at Christmastime, separated them all onto plates and then proceed to give them to at least 30 families in our acquaintance. Usually Anne and I spent Christmas Eve driving around New Concord, drawing straws to decide who would knock on each door as we arrived and often coming home laden with some goodies of our own.

Last year Mom did her best, but Jennie ended up making most of the treats (I would have helped but by then I had moved to Cincinnati). It's a huge job, often taking Mom a week or two to accomplish (usually surrounded by her daughters who claimed that the cookie they had just eaten "broke" and practically begged to be eaten) and Jennie does not have that kind of time on her hands. So this year we did something a little different. With the help of our aunt Jennie made an order form so that anyone who wanted to could order Lynn's Special Christmas Cookies for I think $25 per plate depending on the size of the plate and whether or not you wished for it to be nut free. All proceeds would a) pay for supplies and b) be given to the Sarcoma Foundation. Jennie also told her boss (she works at a supermarket) about this and he donated some of the supplies, such as sugar, flour and butter. Then Jennie, two of our aunts, one cousin, and at least six family friends and myself got together last Saturday and spent the entire day, from 8am until I don't know when, making all of Mom's special cookies. We made everything from white chocolate covered pretzels to Buckeyes to pecan tassies to mint chocolate brownies to the extremely popular white chocolate peppermint sugar cookie snowflakes (I know, ridiculous long name, right?). Thousands of cookies, all in one day, all to be delivered following church the next day. It was incredible considering we had a select number of cookie sheets and only one stove to work with, and I wish I could tell you I stayed for the whole thing but unfortunately I was only able to be there for five and a half hours. Living over an hour away has its disadvantages, and having a poor sick husband who left work early means leaving earlier than originally planned. However, everything got done in due time and Jennie decided that next year we'll allow ourselves more than a single day to get it all done.

Even though I wasn't there for long I made sure to bring my camera and will now post for your enjoyment pictures of the day! If I don't post again beforehand, Happy Christmas (or Hanukkah or Kwanzaa or whatever)!!

 

Count Your Blessings.

I feel like I get stupider with every passing day.

This feeling started back in 2008 when I started working at a preschool and was no longer around people with whom I could use words that were more than two syllables (unless I wanted to either impress or confuse them). It stopped for a bit when I worked for Verizon because I had to know SO much and talked to people on a regular basis and was able to write and read more often.

A couple of days ago I pulled out my old flash drives. The ones that only accept, like, 250MB of data that's how old they are. But on these flash drives are old school papers, the ones that I was really proud of like my senior seminar and the one paper I wrote for an advanced writing class, which my teacher decided he wanted to keep as an example for future students. Papers I could be proud of but, quite honestly, also papers I would most likely never ever use again for anything except for my three years later self to reread and think "My goodness was I good writer! What on earth happened?!?"

Just so y'all know, this is absolutely NOT a ploy to get you to compliment my writing. I'm not fishing for compliments here.

Lately I've been putting up with my job. I haven't enjoyed it. At all. It has even stressed me out at times and often makes me a not very nice person when I'm interrupted. And usually, the entire time I'm working, I'm thinking of all the possible jobs I could look for to get me out of it. I'll consider quitting and finding two part time jobs, ones that will allow me to walk around and not just sit at a desk in an uncomfortable chair giving myself major tendonitis and carpal tunnel for eight hours a day. I'll consider going back to school, applying for other clerking jobs that are most likely equally boring, substitute teaching, etc etc etc. However, when I go to look at the jobs I might actually like, I read the job description and immediately think to myself, "Wow. I am SO not qualified for that," or, "I could never get that job," or, "Why would they want me, every other person who applies probably has more experience and more brain power because I'm just stupid", or - enter your excuse of choice here - . Same goes for looking into school for any reason, from grad school to massage therapy school. I'll read the requirements and immediately put myself down, saying I'm not qualified, my mind isn't as sharp as it used to be, I could never do that, etc.

What's so pathetic is that I went to college. I went, and I did well and I graduated successfully with a perfectly respectable grade point average. So where did all of this negativity come from? I know I'm capable, but I don't FEEL capable. I know I have a brain, but it sure doesn't feel like I have a brain.

All I can think of to remedy this is to try harder at my job because, as much as I don't like it, I'm lucky to have such a good job in this economy, and I need to discipline myself to challenge my brain more. Stop watching TV and instead read a book. And not a young adult book that's an easy read or a book I've read before. I need to read a challenging book, like Moby Dick or Ten Thousand Leagues Under the Sea or Huckleberry Finn. Books that make me keep a dictionary on hand so I know exactly what has been said. Because maybe, just maybe, if I challenge my mind and make myself learn something more than an actor's background and trivia on IMBD, I can feel a little more confident.

So, in conclusion, today I am thankful that I grew up without internet or a cell phone so that I had to spend time being creative, reading, writing, or using my imagination playing with my next door neighbors deep in the wooded area behind our houses. I'm thankful that my parents wouldn't allow us to watch TV unless it was for something like the Olympics or a movie we'd all watch together so that I didn't fill my mind with worthless knowledge, like who is the hottest star and the weekly Hollywood divorce statistics. I'm thankful that they taught us to love reading and learning, and that my Dad works at a university so I was able to attend a good school and graduate without debt. In short, I'm thankful for my upbringing, a family that challenged me, and parents who made me whom I am today: a perfectly capable, adequately intelligent, occasionally creative imperfect person. :)