Too. Much. Driving.

You know, I probably wouldn't care so much about how many miles I have driven in the past month if I wasn't always taking the exact same route. For example, if I was driving across the country to somewhere new, mileage? Not such a big deal because I don't see the same scenery over. and over. and over. And I tell you what, that stretch from Cincinnati to Columbus on I-71 gets flatter and more boring every time you drive it.

When I came back to my family's house yesterday (Friday) I discovered all sorts of things had been moved around, Anne is sorting through videos and cleaned up the basement and organized the linen closet... and she intends to dispose of most of the VHS films we have, including all of the Disney stuff! So I''m going home with all kinds of movies after all this.

However, it's also rather disheartening, especially when Anne explained why she was doing it.
"Well, you know, Dad's probably going to sell the house in a year or so..."

Wait, what?

I've almost always lived in this house. I grew up in this house. I LOVE this house. Dad not live here??? Seriously? We haven't even had grandkids for him yet!

I cannot imagine my dad NOT living in this old house. We've done so much work on it, repainted both the inside and outside, recently bought new furniture including a new chair and trundle beds, have more books than could ever be counted... if he moves, he'll move into an apartment or duplex or something, and most likely will have to sell or give away most of the furniture and a lot of the stuff because it just won't fit in an apartment. And boy, did that make me sad. After my grandfather died in 1984, my grandma held onto her house and lived in it alone all the way up until I was halfway through high school. Which would mean she kept it for a good 18 years. But Dad will sell a mere year after? I just don't know. I don't know if I can handle that, and if he moves I don't know how often I'd come to visit anymore. It would be so strange and weird. Where would we have Christmas as a family? Would Dad travel to us? How would we visit with all our kids someday and all fit into his hypothetical apartment?

I know I'm getting a bit ahead of myself, but quite honestly this whole concept makes me heart hurt. I don't even really want to think about it, but I really can't help it. If I lived around here and could buy the house and live in it myself I... no, actually I wouldn't. That would be really strange, I don't think I could handle sleeping next to my husband in my parent's old room. Ick. Weird. I'd feel like I have to call Dad anytime I wanted to change something and get his permission before just doing it.

Anywho, I just spent the day with my cousins eating Chipotle (which they have never had before... those CT people are SO depraved) and Tom's Ice Cream and watching old home videos again. My cousin Sara was in many of them because she always came to hang with us when we'd visit. They all leave first thing tomorrow so it was nice to spend the day with them.

Tomorrow (Sunday) is February 13th. It is also known as Johnny's and my eight month anniversary. :D He actually wanted to go to Chipotle tomorrow, but we kinda already went and I cannot handle two days in a row so now I get to think of a new restaurant. It also helps that this will be the day before Valentine's so we can kinda mix the two together.

Emmanuel the Mardstrel

So, a few months ago a friend of mine posted a status asking about another word for a bard, which led to us coming up with a whole new word and a story line and I told her I'd write the story, she could illustrate. She is, after all, a fine artist. Here is my work in progress, copyright Emily Blood 2010, and we hope to make it into a children's book someday. Enjoy!!

I went to the village one lovely fall day
To visit the potter and trade eggs in for clay
In the midst of the hustle I saw a face
I had ne'er seen in three leagues of this place.
"That's Emmanuel the Mardstrel", the potter said with a grin
"They can't keep him out so they just let him in!"
"What's a mardstrel?" I asked as we both watched on
"Why it's a bard and a minstrel all rolled into one!
He plays strings with his fingers, has bells on his toes
And wreaks havoc in every village he goes!"


In the town of Grand Bugsby, the potter began
The mardstrel decided he wanted a tan.
He broke into houses and stole all the lamps
To lie under in the square without any pants.
In Hansen last summer, the potter went on,
He decided they needed less brains and more brawn
So he burned down the school, the church and the bridge
'Cos smarter folks live on the opposite ridge.


Just as he finished the potter stopped short
And looked toward the square with an angry snort
Quick as a flash he had knocked the bard flat!
"Get out of this town and never come back!
We don't need your help, this town is just fine,
So spare us your mischief or I'll break your spine!"



Aaaaaannnnd that's all I've got. Still a work in progress. :)

Whoa Yarn!!

I finally got up the energy to completely unpack and organize. As my best friend is coming for her first ever visit to my apartment on Thursday (SO EXCITED!!!!) I kind of wanted it to be done and organized and looking nice and not like I just came back from a three week sojourn to New Concord.

The Sunday before I went home for those three weeks, a couple I'm friends with gave me this set of metal do-it-yourself cube shelves. Till today they just sat in a Sam's Club reusable grocery bag next to my tv. Then I had a stroke of genius.

So. Much. Yarn.

When I worked at the Friendship Preschool and Daycare I spent nap time crocheting blankets and hats... anything to keep my knees warm in that freezing cold room. So the administrator gave me two enormous boxes of yarn that used to belong to her late mother. More yarn than I will EVER use.

Hey, anyone want some yarn? There's more where this came from!

Someday I should probably get around to actually finishing something... There's half a scarf I promised Dad three years ago still waiting to be finished... Sorry Dad!

In any case, thank you thank you Jim and Angie for giving me these shelves! It made my apartment more colorful and gave me a place to put my planters from the funeral. AND for my twinkle lights!

Today kinda sucked. But doing this actually made my night. :)

I'm Too Tired for Titles.

I care so much about the Super Bowl that I made a point of driving the 2.5 hour trip back to Cincinnati just when it was going on. Yup. It's that big of a deal to me.

I'm "home" now. Most of my stuff is unpacked but I have more clothes than I will ever have room for so tomorrow after work I get to organize my closet. Again. And then repack four days later for a weekend trip back to good ole nc.

Somehow all of this is easier when I'm with my family. Then it feels as though we're just waiting for Mom to come back from vacation. Now I have to deal with the reality of going back to work and paying bills and all of that nonsense without the periodical updates from Dad about when Mom's next treatment is or a text from Mom asking for help creating a group for her contacts on her phone. When I lived in Connecticut sometimes I would call home and have long conversations with my Mom about cooking and coupons and phones and work and life in general.

It's so much easier to pretend she's on vacation.

During my drive, once I got bored of music, I allowed my mind to slowly build, piece by piece, topic by topic, chapter by chapter, the book I am now determined to write. It will be a long haul, involving lots of emails overseas and to my relatives and Mom's friends and outlining and writing and revising and finding someone to publish it for me and whatever else it takes to write a book. Quite honestly, I don't care much if it sells. I just want to share my beautiful mother with the world and also fulfill my lifelong goal of publishing a book. I will need support from all of you, my wonderful readers. Help me keep on writing!

Anyway, I really hope that as time goes on sleeping actually grants me rest. Till then, I get to wake up at 5:30am for work for the first time in three and a half weeks. Wish me luck!

Tee Pee

For the past few weeks, during this whole ordeal with my Mom, we have had no less than ten people living in my house. Three of these people were my mom's mother and sisters, all of whom have their own way of doing things and one thing my grandma taught her kids was, when you replace the toilet paper, make sure the lose end comes around the front not the back. So in every bathroom when one of those three women changed the paper the let the loose end hang out the front.

None of these women keep cats who like to play in the bathroom.

Back when I was five years old we got our first cat. To cats, just like with small children, that dangling paper is a temptation that cannot be ignored. We often went into the bathroom to find the entire roll of paper lying in a heap on the floor. Therefore we learned to put the paper on with the loose end coming through the back. This way the cat can bat the front of the roll as much as he or she wants, nothing will unroll.

The moral of the story is, when you have relatives keeping house for you, suck it up and deal with how they do things until they leave. Then you can slowly bring things back to normal. After all, it's only a roll of paper, it will soon be gone and a new roll added in the "correct" way and life goes on.

But till then, it drives me crazy!

Welcome!!

Welcome, Everyone, to my 25th Birthday!!!


 I am always very, very excited about my birthday, no matter what, though I'm a little annoyed with the snow and intend, at some future birthday, to be somewhere warm or go somewhere snowy that's a sweet place to be (like, idk, Germany. Iceland. etc.). But for now I will content myself with a Bob Evans breakfast with Johnny, a family dinner of my choosing with funfetti cake, and an evening with a good friend at her new house watching movies and just hanging out. A quiet, peaceful birthday, just what is needed after such a week.

We buried my mom yesterday. It was sad. It was surreal. And yet there was and will be rejoicing because our God is alive and she is safe with him and out of pain and, really, that is all that matters. So today, I will cry tears that she isn't with us to see her third daughter turn a quarter century old and yet be filled with joy because she is alive in me, and in my sisters, and in my father and in every single person she ever met or who will ever hear about her. :)

So I hope that everyone has a lovely Emily's birthday!

source

Oh My....

First round of calling hours. Some tears, but a lot of smiles actually, considering the reason we were gathering. But to me the reason isn't because Mom is dead and we're mourning her, though that is mostly the case. It's more that she's not in pain anymore and she's with Jesus and we'll see her again and really, honestly, I'm comforted by that fact. Last week she was here but she wasn't here, and this week she isn't here but she IS.

One good friend came through the line with caffeine free hot chocolate just for me! A whole box! I am currently drinking some right now and very, very excited about it. One of Mom's coworkers came through with another coworker and she was wearing this lovely grey and purple scarf. I asked if I could see it closer, because it looked a lot like three scarves twirled together somehow and she noticed it matched my outfit and then took it off, put it on me and told me to keep it! I spent five minutes trying to figure out if she was serious. Turns out, she was. The scarf now hangs with my jacket in the upstairs closet.

Many of the guests this evening were people I recognized from past activities or family gatherings and, inevitably, they would ask me about what I was doing now and I'm like, "Oh, I live in Cincinnati and I process insurance claims for a living." And the moment I said "insurance" their eyes glazed over. Yes, everyone. I know it's boring, but until I figure out my path in life it's nice to make money and live out in the world on my own. Well, on my own for the next few months until I get married and Johnny and I decide where we want to be.

Do you ever feel like you're at a bit of a dead end? For a few years now, ever since right before I graduated college, I've had this overwhelming feeling that I'm meant to do something incredible for Jesus. What that is, I don't know, but I'm pretty sure it's not to stay where I am and work insurance for the rest of my life. I am one of those unlucky people who was blessed with incurable wanderlust and yet haven't really gone anywhere. I always want to go, I want to travel, and the few times I've really traveled it was for far too short a time and for a specific reason. Like a wedding, for example.

Johnny and I had a long discussion about this the other day, about how he also wants to travel, though for him it isn't an incessant longing that has lingered for years on end like me. So many times recently have I daydreamed about just selling everything I own except for a small suitcase of clothes and just taking off. Travel the country until I run out of money, find a part time job and a place to crash and work till I save enough to move on to the next place and just get to know people and learn their story and be part of their lives for a short while. The life of a vagabond. I have a friend who did something similar, only he did this to teach SCUBA overseas in such places as Indonesia and New Zealand. I am incredibly jealous of the odyssey he's on.

More than anything I'm terrified of ending up a typical suburban Mom, with three kids and a husband who works 8-5 and soccer practices and carpooling and all of those normal, everyday things. I'm not saying that life isn't great, that's not what I mean at all. What I mean is that I never want my life to be ordinary and I'm terrified that's what it will become.

I don't know, I'm really just rambling. Hope you don't mind. :)